This will probably be moved to th RPG forum.
Moving to Role Playing Games…
Dungeons and Dragons, SATANS GAME!
Your children, like it or not, are drawn, in their weaker years, to THE OCCULT, and a game like D&D fuels the imagination, while making them feel special and drawing them deeper and deeper into the bowls of El Diablo.
Watch in horror, as the Dead Elf Wives Watchtower takes a hidden camera, to view the inner most sanctum of DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS.
DM:
Galstaf, you have entered the cave to the North. the pungent smell of mildew eminates from the dark, wet dungeon walls.
Gamer #2:
WHERE ARE THE CHEETOS?!!
DM:
There right next to you.
Gamer #1:
(Galstaf) I wanna cast a spell.
Gamer #2:
WHERE’S THE MOUNTAIN DEW!!!
DM:
In the fridge! Go get it.
Gamer #1:
I wanna cast a spell.
Gamer #2:
Can I have a Mountain Dew?
DM:
Yes!
Gamer #1:
I can cast any of these spell, on the list.
DM:
Any of the first level ones.
Gamer #1:
I wanna cast magic missile.
Gamer #2:
Yo, Greg! I’m in the room, right?
Gamer #1:
I wanna cast magic missile.
DM:
What room?!
Gamer #2:
The room where he’s casting all thos spells from!
DM:
No your by the tavern, and he hasn’t casted any spells yet.
Gamer #2:
Cool! I get drunk!
Gamer #1:
But I am, if you’re listening. I’m casting magic missile.
DM:
Why would you be casting magic missile if there is noting to attack?!
(there’s a short pause)
Gamer #1:
Uh, I’m attacking the darkness.
(everyone laughs)
DM: (still laughing)
Fine then! You attack the darkness. Theres an elf standing in front of you.
Gamer #1:
That’s me, right?
DM:
He’s wearing, uh, a white cape, a brown tunic, has grey hair, and green eyes.
Gamer #1:
But I have grey eyes!
DM:
Hand me the character sheet.
Gamer #1:
Well, it says I have green eyes but I decided I wanted grey eyes.
DM:
Whatever! You guys can talk now.
Gamer #1:
Hello!
DM: (immitating Gamer #1’s voice)
Hello!
Gamer #1:
I am Galstaf, sorcerror of light!
DM: (immitating Gamer #1’s voice)
Then why did you have to cast magic missile!?
(everyone laughs)
DM: (still laughing)
You guys are being attacked.
Gamer #1:
But how?
DM:
You are both now surrounded by ogres.
Gamer #1:
But I had Morden Keiden’s Magical Watchdog cast!
DM:
No you didn’t!
Gamer #2:
Roll the dice to see if I’m getting drunk!
DM: (sighs as dice roll)
Yeah, you are!
Gamer #2:
Are there any girls there?
DM:
Yeah!
Gamer #1:
But I totally did! Now, you asked me if I needed any special items for this adventure, and I said no. But I needed material components for all of my spells, so I casted Morden Keiden’s Magical Watchdog!
DM:
BUT YOU NEVER ACTUALLY CAST THE SPELL, so now there OGRES!!!
Gamer #2:
OGRES?! I have an ogre slaying knife, that’s +9 against ogres.
DM:
BUT YOU’RE NOT THERE!!! YOU’RE BY THE TAVERN GETTING DRUNK!!!
Gamer #2:
BUT IF THERE ARE ANY GIRLS THERE, I WANNA DO THEM!!!
Voice:
There you have it, a frightening look, into America’s most frightening past time. Know that it’s not your children’s fault that they’re being drawn into this Satanic world of nightmare. It’s their gym teachers fault for making them feel outcast when they couldn’t do one lousy pull-up…(echos out)
***
I love D&D! If the game actually played anything like the above demonstration, I probably wouldn’t play it. (However, I do know a few groups that tend to play like that.)
You might want to know that it’s Vampire: The Masquerade, not Masqyre ^^;;;;
I like AD&D the best.. Have played it for a while, but can’t find the time for it anymore.. 😮
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I play it with my brother 😉
And that sucks when you get used to games like Valkyrie profile and FF7
Voice:
Dungeons and Dragons, SATANS GAME!
Your children, like it or not, are drawn, in their weaker years, to THE OCCULT, and a game like D&D fuels the imagination, while making them feel special and drawing them deeper and deeper into the bowls of El Diablo.
Watch in horror, as the Dead Elf Wives Watchtower takes a hidden camera, to view the inner most sanctum of DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS.
DM:
Galstaf, you have entered the cave to the North. the pungent smell of mildew eminates from the dark, wet dungeon walls.
Gamer #2:
WHERE ARE THE CHEETOS?!!
DM:
There right next to you.
Gamer #1:
(Galstaf) I wanna cast a spell.
Gamer #2:
WHERE’S THE MOUNTAIN DEW!!!
DM:
In the fridge! Go get it.
Gamer #1:
I wanna cast a spell.
Gamer #2:
Can I have a Mountain Dew?
DM:
Yes!
Gamer #1:
I can cast any of these spell, on the list.
DM:
Any of the first level ones.
Gamer #1:
I wanna cast magic missile.
Gamer #2:
Yo, Greg! I’m in the room, right?
Gamer #1:
I wanna cast magic missile.
DM:
What room?!
Gamer #2:
The room where he’s casting all thos spells from!
DM:
No your by the tavern, and he hasn’t casted any spells yet.
Gamer #2:
Cool! I get drunk!
Gamer #1:
But I am, if you’re listening. I’m casting magic missile.
DM:
Why would you be casting magic missile if there is noting to attack?!
(there’s a short pause)
Gamer #1:
Uh, I’m attacking the darkness.
(everyone laughs)
DM: (still laughing)
Fine then! You attack the darkness. Theres an elf standing in front of you.
Gamer #1:
That’s me, right?
DM:
He’s wearing, uh, a white cape, a brown tunic, has grey hair, and green eyes.
Gamer #1:
But I have grey eyes!
DM:
Hand me the character sheet.
Gamer #1:
Well, it says I have green eyes but I decided I wanted grey eyes.
DM:
Whatever! You guys can talk now.
Gamer #1:
Hello!
DM: (immitating Gamer #1’s voice)
Hello!
Gamer #1:
I am Galstaf, sorcerror of light!
DM: (immitating Gamer #1’s voice)
Then why did you have to cast magic missile!?
(everyone laughs)
DM: (still laughing)
You guys are being attacked.
Gamer #1:
But how?
DM:
You are both now surrounded by ogres.
Gamer #1:
But I had Morden Keiden’s Magical Watchdog cast!
DM:
No you didn’t!
Gamer #2:
Roll the dice to see if I’m getting drunk!
DM: (sighs as dice roll)
Yeah, you are!
Gamer #2:
Are there any girls there?
DM:
Yeah!
Gamer #1:
But I totally did! Now, you asked me if I needed any special items for this adventure, and I said no. But I needed material components for all of my spells, so I casted Morden Keiden’s Magical Watchdog!
DM:
BUT YOU NEVER ACTUALLY CAST THE SPELL, so now there OGRES!!!
Gamer #2:
OGRES?! I have an ogre slaying knife, that’s +9 against ogres.
DM:
BUT YOU’RE NOT THERE!!! YOU’RE BY THE TAVERN GETTING DRUNK!!!
Gamer #2:
BUT IF THERE ARE ANY GIRLS THERE, I WANNA DO THEM!!!
Voice:
There you have it, a frightening look, into America’s most frightening past time. Know that it’s not your children’s fault that they’re being drawn into this Satanic world of nightmare. It’s their gym teachers fault for making them feel outcast when they couldn’t do one lousy pull-up…(echos out)
***
I love D&D! If the game actually played anything like the above demonstration, I probably wouldn’t play it. (However, I do know a few groups that tend to play like that.)
Yep, I’ve heard that clip. I can never get sick of it…XD
I’ve tried a few TBRPG’s, and I can’t say I’ve really enjoyed any of them. D&D especially, but it’s probably because of the people I play with. I play with my best friend, his parents and their friends. In which case, I usually get ignored…so I don’t even bother. But time I am involved, I still find it pretty boring.
So um…none, I guess. XD
Voice:
Dungeons and Dragons, SATANS GAME!
Your children, like it or not, are drawn, in their weaker years, to THE OCCULT, and a game like D&D fuels the imagination, while making them feel special and drawing them deeper and deeper into the bowls of El Diablo.
Watch in horror, as the Dead Elf Wives Watchtower takes a hidden camera, to view the inner most sanctum of DUNGEONS AND DRAGONS.
DM:
Galstaf, you have entered the cave to the North. the pungent smell of mildew eminates from the dark, wet dungeon walls.
Gamer #2:
WHERE ARE THE CHEETOS?!!
DM:
There right next to you.
Gamer #1:
(Galstaf) I wanna cast a spell.
Gamer #2:
WHERE’S THE MOUNTAIN DEW!!!
DM:
In the fridge! Go get it.
Gamer #1:
I wanna cast a spell.
Gamer #2:
Can I have a Mountain Dew?
DM:
Yes!
Gamer #1:
I can cast any of these spell, on the list.
DM:
Any of the first level ones.
Gamer #1:
I wanna cast magic missile.
Gamer #2:
Yo, Greg! I’m in the room, right?
Gamer #1:
I wanna cast magic missile.
DM:
What room?!
Gamer #2:
The room where he’s casting all thos spells from!
DM:
No your by the tavern, and he hasn’t casted any spells yet.
Gamer #2:
Cool! I get drunk!
Gamer #1:
But I am, if you’re listening. I’m casting magic missile.
DM:
Why would you be casting magic missile if there is noting to attack?!
(there’s a short pause)
Gamer #1:
Uh, I’m attacking the darkness.
(everyone laughs)
DM: (still laughing)
Fine then! You attack the darkness. Theres an elf standing in front of you.
Gamer #1:
That’s me, right?
DM:
He’s wearing, uh, a white cape, a brown tunic, has grey hair, and green eyes.
Gamer #1:
But I have grey eyes!
DM:
Hand me the character sheet.
Gamer #1:
Well, it says I have green eyes but I decided I wanted grey eyes.
DM:
Whatever! You guys can talk now.
Gamer #1:
Hello!
DM: (immitating Gamer #1’s voice)
Hello!
Gamer #1:
I am Galstaf, sorcerror of light!
DM: (immitating Gamer #1’s voice)
Then why did you have to cast magic missile!?
(everyone laughs)
DM: (still laughing)
You guys are being attacked.
Gamer #1:
But how?
DM:
You are both now surrounded by ogres.
Gamer #1:
But I had Morden Keiden’s Magical Watchdog cast!
DM:
No you didn’t!
Gamer #2:
Roll the dice to see if I’m getting drunk!
DM: (sighs as dice roll)
Yeah, you are!
Gamer #2:
Are there any girls there?
DM:
Yeah!
Gamer #1:
But I totally did! Now, you asked me if I needed any special items for this adventure, and I said no. But I needed material components for all of my spells, so I casted Morden Keiden’s Magical Watchdog!
DM:
BUT YOU NEVER ACTUALLY CAST THE SPELL, so now there OGRES!!!
Gamer #2:
OGRES?! I have an ogre slaying knife, that’s +9 against ogres.
DM:
BUT YOU’RE NOT THERE!!! YOU’RE BY THE TAVERN GETTING DRUNK!!!
Gamer #2:
BUT IF THERE ARE ANY GIRLS THERE, I WANNA DO THEM!!!
Voice:
There you have it, a frightening look, into America’s most frightening past time. Know that it’s not your children’s fault that they’re being drawn into this Satanic world of nightmare. It’s their gym teachers fault for making them feel outcast when they couldn’t do one lousy pull-up…(echos out)
***
I love D&D! If the game actually played anything like the above demonstration, I probably wouldn’t play it. (However, I do know a few groups that tend to play like that.)
Lets see….how much i can correct this…
Dead Elf Wives? Its Dead ALE Wives.
Morden Keiden? Mordenkainen
I play D&D every saturday night…i prefer it to FF.