Things FFVII charachters would never say

Cid: "I stopped smoking recently, for my health."

or

Aeris: " #*%@ !!!"

You know, stuff like that.
Whoever makes me laugh most gets a special prize.

Barret:" OMG look at this cute little pink dress i found at the wall market for only 20 gil!!!"

This is so much fun 🙂

Tifa:" Are you sure you want another one … I mean you already had 3 beers"
Aeris:" Shut the fuck up and give me another one DAMNIT!" (grabs beer and chugs it)

Vincent:" Dear diary…. today Cloud looked at me at lunch like he is so dreamy… and I just love Barrets new dress I’m like SO jealous!"

Cloud: "Still have the blue dress. Oh, silky and shimmering.(Puts dress on) Does this makes my butt look big?"

(I can’t imagine him saying that but I think Aeris would be laughing so hard if he had say that when he was dressing up. :laugh: )

The group goes on a shopping trip to the wall market(Barret gets the dress, Cloud gets the bonnet).
Vincent:"Cid what did you get?"
Cid:"I got a pack of cigarettes, some mags, and…the Barbie as swan lake happy mystical castle!!!Yey!!!I can’t wait to play with it!"

Nanaki: "Looks like he’s going to do it. Always yelling and yapping away. I feel sorry for Shera. "

Cid walking to Shera. "Shera, will you…marry me?" (Big smile on his face…still smoking his cigarette..)

Shera: "………"

Yuffie:"Whaat the @$#! ! Is this some kind of joke?"

Shera: Oh Cid!….No.

Cloud: Does the castle come with pretty pink ponies?! (Johnny’s suggestion)

Tifa: *watches as seph kills aeris* wow… nice calves!
Red XIII: WAAA my tail’s on fire!!!

Cid: "awww! im sorry for everything ive done to you, sheira! youre a real sweetie pie!"

Cait sith: "Im honest!"

Barret: "Cloud… I don’t know how to say this… but… I think I’m attracted to you…"

Cloud: oh, barret! I’m so happy!! *kisses barret*

Vincent: "psst, hey cloud… will you ask yuffie out for me?"

Yuffie: "Tifa, I just love your hair! How do you make it so shiney and silky??"

I will finish this later I G2G right now

Yuffie: "I hate materia its so *@#$ing usless!"

Cloud:"I could have sworn that I brought my secnted candles with me."

Aerith: "Now, I command you in the name of lucifer to spread the blood of the innocent! *plays clay pidegeons with poodles*"

Barret: "That Rufus… MMMMMMM-MMMM!!!! Damn he’s fine."

Tifa: "I’m going to get breast implants. I’m pretty sure my back can take it."

Cid: "I’m afraid of flying! I’ll go Amtrak!"

Vincent: "It’s time for a wardrobe change…"

Cait Sith: "I’m happy to announce I have the largest fan base out of all of us!"

Yuffie: "I just wanted to be your friend! *cries*"

Sephiroth: "Love and peace! Love and peace!"

Yuffie: "Oh, I better hand this into the local police station. Someone must be looking for this…"

JUST KIDDING!

Keep posting people! This is great.

Vincent: (fixing his hair, singing) I feel pretty, oh so pretty, oh so pretty and witty and—-"
Cloud, Tifa, Cid: (yell) "GAY!"

Aeris:" Get the $%#! away from me before I kill you!"

another scene
Cloud:" Hey Vincent an you give me a back rub?

Vincent:" Sure why not!"*runs over excitedly*

Cid: (stands) "My name is Cid Highwind. And I am an alcoholic."
Sephiroth clones in black capes: "Hellooo…..C-Cid…"
Cloud: (stands) "My name is Cloud Strife. And I am a Homosexual."
Cid: "Wrong building, Cloud."

Yuffie:" I want to join SOLDIER!"
Cloud:" You can register over here."

Aeris:" I want to rule the world as the only Ancient."
Seph:" I must stop you!"
Cloud:" Now what do I do? Hey look its a flower."

Sephiroth: ( tells Cloud to close the vaulve)
Cloud: Getting bossed around by a transexual wasn’t in the job description.

……ok, not funny. help me out here people.

Sephiroth: "Oh, my long and beautiful hair. So shiny and glossy. (smirks) Better than Tifa’s."
Tifa: (crys)" That is so wrong. Cloud…Aeris…do something."
Cloud: "………But it is shiny."
Aeris: "………It is really like he says. Can I be your buddy, Sephi?"
Cloud: " What! No way. He was my bud first!"

Barret:"I’m changing my name to Ashley!"(continues playing barbies with Cid and Cloud.)

Barret:" Forget about helping to save the world i’m going to start stamp collecting instead!"

Cid:"My barbie collection is almost complete I still need cereal killer barbie… and Rugby barbie… and obese barbie!

Vincent: I have a vagina
Yuffie:…yeah me too (come on…we all know that she’s always been…a little didfferent from Aeris and Tifa)

Sephiroth: "Man, Mom, has anyone ever told you you look like a bloody freak?"

Sephiroth:"AHHHH!!!SOMEBODY!!!SMASH THAT BUG!!!"

Cloud: I am about to become one with the Planet.

Sephiroth: Was I adopted?

Hojo: Am I insane?

Palmer: Do I look fat?

Zack: You have motion sickness? I DON’T CARE!

Sephiroth: Zack, you’re more mature then I am.

Lucrecia: Sephiroth is an idiot!

President Shinra: No! Stop! You’re hurting the Planet!

Cloud: "oh, Sephiroth, what is it?"
Seph: "open it!"
Cloud: "Oh its the Black materia, its what i always wanted!"

Cloud: "We sent him to obedience school."

Tifa: I have big breasts..Why didn’t I notice that before?

Nanaki: ::looking at his cubs:: Hmm..Who did I knock up? It will forever be a mystery..

Yuffie: I really am a kleptomaniac!

Cid: I should really quit smoking..@#$! I’ll get lung cancer!

Aerith: Cloud? you know the real reason why I like you? BECAUSE YOU LOOK LIKE ZACK! THAT’S IT, I DON’T CARE ABOUT CLOUD, I CARE ABOUT ZACK!

Tifa: Yes! Cloud’s finally mine!

Red XIII: Oh boy, we’re gonna go on an adventure!

Cait Sith: Guys, I’m real sorry for taking the keystone… I should’ve known better…

Barret: Ya know? I’m thinking about switching to healing as my main goal. Lets make the world a better plave and live happily… we need to know the meaning of life.

Yuffie: DAMMIT, my boomerang broke!

Cid: ah, smoking’s for losers!

Sephiroth: (after killing aeris) OH, GOD! WHAT HAVE I DONE? IM A MURDERER, A MURDERER!!!!!!

Cloud: "I can’t lift my sword! It won’t get up! I can’t get it up! Ahhhhh!!!!" *everyone stares*

Tifa: "Where’s my jumbo boob pump?!" *many, many more stares*

Barret: "I AM THE LORD OF THE DANCE!!!"

Sephiroth: "I’ve found my true passion…"
Random Homeless Person: " Well? What is it?"
Sephiroth: "Bringing massacre to random homeless people."
Random Homeless Person: " …uhhh..please don’t kill me?"
Sephiroth: "Oh, but I already have!" *Homeless person slides apart like sliced sausage* "Heh heh.. Tom and Jerry, here I come…"

Aerith: "Cloud? I used your razor to shave my legs! Hope you don’t mind!"
Cloud: *shivers* "Hmmm…wait…nah."

Cid: "Hey everybody, look! Loverboy’s playing tonight!!!"

Yuffie: "Stealing just isn’t any fun anymore, I think the true challenge in life is to go down the straight and narrow."

Red XIII: "Mmmm… that’s right ladies.. lick each others wounds-OH MY GOD IT’S ON FIRE!!! PUT IT OUT! PUT IT OUT!"

Cid: My, Shera, what a stunning blouse! I don’t suppose I could interest you in two tickets to the ballet?

Red XIII: I think its about time I was neutered.

Yuffie: Gosh, Clouds Mastered Ultima, Full Cure and Comet materias just left unattended. I’d better go and give them him back.

Barret: Any got a Mach 3? I feel its about time I gave my legs a good waxing.

Aeris: Much love for that Sephiroth. What a stand up, decent fella.

Palmer: No custard slice for me. I’m on a diet.

"Owww! Oh, shit, owww! That hurts! Crap!"

Cloud: Get ready to die!! I’ll killed you for taking Aeris away from me!!

Sephiroth: What! I thought we were buddies. I would do no such things!! Can’t we just talk it over?

Cloud: You wishhhhhhhh!! Arghh! Take this…..(doing Ominislash)

Sephiroth: Cheater!! I wasn’t ready. How come you get to do your limit break!! I’ll get you for this!!

Aeris: Ha ha. At least my is lighter.

Cait Sith: What are you two blabbing about? I only have a microphone to shout at enemies.

Sephiroth: Very original Cloud, very original, why don’t you say it to her face?

Reno and Rude: (at the bar, drinking alot)
Rude: (belches very loud in Elena’s face.)
Elena: (gaaaaasssp!!) (gags)
Reno: God, stop being so RUDE!

I’m too bored so I can’t come up with some good ones so here’s this cheap one:

Seph:" Will anyone cry at my funeral?"
Aeris:" Does it look like I care what you have to say you stupid son of a @#$%&!"

Seph:*on one knee*" Cloud, will you do me the honor of being my wife?"
Cloud:" Oh, yes…Hey wait did you say wife?!"
Seph:" Yes I did.
Could:" Oh I thought you said something else."
Aeris:" Hey! Clooud is my girl!"
Cloud:" Aeris, you know I never liked you in that sense."
Aeris:" Oh, Sorry I thought that you really did like me that way."
Seph & Cloud:" Sorry. Now Get the @#$% OUT!"

Tiffa:i agree who cares if this planet dies its not as importent as having Tea come on.

Sephiroth: "Thanks, I’d love a non-fattening, low-cal, diet soda right about now."

Reno: That’s all, folks!

Wait, what they WOULDN’T SAY?

—

President Shinra – Who needs money when we have the planet to think of? Turks! Shut down the reactors.

—

Aries – I’m not dead!

(Before we have another Revive Aries thread, please note that the above quote is on the NEVER WILL HAPPEN list.)

—

Cait Sith – Wait here everyone, the real me is comming to help!

—

Cloud – Tifa, I don’t think we should go out anymore.

Tifa – Why not?

Cloud – For your own protection. Jessie, Aries… Do you see the conection?

(Meanwhile, Sephiroth wields his blade up above.)

—

Beginners hall guy – You explainations were so complicated, I couldn’t return to the planet. Tell me about limit breaks.

Cloud – I don’t know, I just don’t know. (Runs out crying.)

—

Red XIII – I’ve never noticed, but Grandpa really looks like one of those clowns that never fall over.

(Pushes his grounded grandfather over, and watches him spring back upright.)

Burgersomething – Stop that.

—

More later, maybe.

Reno:" Hey Rude."
Rude:"…"
Reno:" Hey man I’m talking to you!"
Rude:"…"
Reno:" Well whatever. I just wanted to say that, well, I love you man."
Rude:*weakly*" Hold me."

I know they suck. I just can’t get my imagination started lately

while chocobo dances, cloud jumps in with a tootoo and preforms swanlake.

moogle: ku–ah who cares…..

vincent: now remeber childeren, don’t play with guns.

sephiroth walking out of the flames: TA DAAAAAA!!!!

cid: welcome and thankyou for riding the highwind, the exits are in the back and the sides. if you need any assitance please press the red button above you.

cloud: oh i think i’m gonna hurl…
chocobo: THEN WHY ARE YOU RIDING ON ME?!!!

if you guys liked one of these , please tell me which one you liked.

seph and vinnie: *singing* comeon world theres a song that we’re singing, come on get happy!

elena: i love your hair tseng!
tseng : i know.
elena accidently pulls off the wig : O MY GOSH! 0_o

Yuffie: I…I… I don’t know what to say…I guess I’ll say. Cloud, I love you.

Aerith: Come on, hurry up! Lets go find some materia! Look, HOBOS! lets go rob’em!!

elena: i love your hair tseng!
tseng : i know.
elena accidently pulls off the wig : O MY GOSH! 0_o

hehe iliked these two..k mine suck but ill try…

Barret: (on a commercial) I pity the fool who dont buy my new line of Gatling guns!

ok yes that sucked.

Aeris: "GIVE IT UP! There’s NO way were ever gonna be able to save the planet!"

Cloud: "Come on! Get you’re spririts up! We can do anything we set our minds to!"

Barret: *sobbing* That’s so beautiful!

Ok here ill try somemore

Cloud:(drunk)"Zack your really pr..pretty *hiccup* you know that right!!"
Zack"Ohhhh cloud im flattered"
Cloud"good now get me *hiccup* another beer *BRRRUUUUP*

Cloud tifa and aeris are having a tea party
cloud"sephy come plz tea party with us!"
seph(under his breath)"fag"

yeah uhhhhhh tell me if you liked one

Vincent: "One day I looked into the mirror and found that I was suffering from male pattern baldness. I didn’t know what to do. My girl left me, my boss fired me, and I had to live under a bridge with bats and gremlins. I didn’t know what to do, that’s when one of the bats reccomended Dr. Krevolikan to me. What a life-saver. Thanks to him, I regained a full head of hair, and can now roam the planet, slaying monsters and vanquishing enemies without humiliation. Thank you, Dr. Krevolikan."

Aerith: *getting back from Spring Break with Tifa, more than slightly drunk* "H-hey, everyone! *hic* Guess how many boobs I saw thiss week? Two! *looks at Tifa lecherously, then passes out* Hee hee hee…
Tifa: *eyes shifting* Uhhhhh….well, that would explain why she’s wearing my shirt. *is met with many stares*

Cloud & Cid: WONDER TWIN POWERS, ACTIVATE!

Barret: All right, who wants to play a game of Dungeons and Dragons? Star Trek Trivia? Anyone?
(Heh heh heh… dub me a geek and a nerd, I’m guilty of both)

Cloud: "It’s time to shave my nipples again."

Okay I know it sucks…here another one…

Barret: Yuffie…I love you..you are absolutely not a brat and you are beautiful…
Yuffie: Oh…Barret….**in a charming voice**

Okay I shut up.

Felt like typing that.

vincent"Tifa i got an idea take some of my clothes and put them on and go kiss cloud!"
tifa"ok *giggles*"
*tifa gets on vincents clothes and kisses cloud*
cloud"VINCENT…i thought you’d never do that *grins evily*"

Any FF7 character: Seriously, we actually deserve the fandom we get.

"Things they’d NEVER say"

Cloud: "Tifa, I have a confession… I think your boobs are TOO big."

Barret: "Here’s your pay Cloud; 15 bazillion gil."

Tifa: "Cloud, I think you should end up with Aeris. She’s definetly the right girl for you.*voice starts to accelerate and volume increases* Even if she is a stupid bitch who doesn’t where the hell to put her innocent little– *calms down, realizing her carrying on* Oh, what does it matter. You think my boobs are too big anyway!"

Aeris: "Oh! Sir! Won’t you please buy a flower? It’s for a good cause: I’m donating it to my boob job fund.

Red XIII: "CATNIP!!!"

Cait Sith: *nothing at all, he won’t shut up!*

Cid: "Swearing is bad."

Vincent: "Oh, shit! I’m late for my manicure!

Yuffie: "Everybody, the error of my ways has made me confess. I hate materia! Take it, take it all!"

yeah, I know they’re stupid, but it’s the best you’re gettin outta me, I don’t have much imagination (but if you liked one, tell me which!)

yeah, or:

Barret: "Oh, crap, I broke a nail!"

You really care what other people think too much, you know…

But I’ll humor you. Frankly, most everything’s been done by this point, so I’ve seen most of them elsewhere on the thread. The only one I even took notice of was the Barrett line.

Sephiroth: "no, i’m a good boy and my mommy wouldn’t like it if i went around killing people. besides this sword is made out of rubber. how else would i be able to wield it?"

yeah it’s dumb, but this is me we’re talking about so….

Cloud: "Pull my finger!" (that one wasn’t already used, was it?)

Aerith: "Oh, spank me more!"
Tifa: " You spank me first!"
Sorry, I’m not sure where that came from.

Cid: " Come on down, you’re the next contestant on the price is right!"

Bugenhagen: " One tequila, two tequeila, three tequeila, four! F_ck the planet’s final fate and start a nuclear war! HEEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEEE!!! *presses THE BUTTON*"

Vincent: "Oh, I can’t wait for the next "Ai Yori Aoshi" volume to come out! *rolls back on bed and kicks feet in the air* He he he!"
Note: There’s nothing wrong with "Ai Yori Aoshi". It is a sappy love story though, so…yeah.

ok i dont have a very good imagination..

Sry for the spelling errors. Spelling is my worst subject, I’m horrible at it! lol

Sephiroth: Cloud I’m sorry but i love Aireth so much that i killed her

Arieth: I’m a goody goody two shoes

Yuffie: it slices it dices

I didn’t notice this at first, but, I nearly wet myself from laughing.

Reno: (in Before Crisis) Rude, would I look good if I grew a rattail?
Rude: Um….I dunno….I don’t think so. Don’t do it.
Elena: Whatever! He’d be a babe!
Reno: Thanks Elena, I think I’ll try that!

Thank god for Elena.

Bugenhagen: TIFA, BEER ME!

aeris: wait…i’m getting a message….what i don’t understand…

cetra language at use: LOL! OMG! meh can’tz believe she do that now, WTF we friggin told her not to come to DA temple!

Barret: i like big butts and cannot lie, u other brothers cant deny when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist and a round thing in ur face u get sprung; Wanna pull up tough cause u noticed that butt was stuffed; Deep in the jeans shes wearing im hooked and i cant stop staring; oh baby i wanna get with ya and take ur picture my homeboys try to warn me but the butt u got m-m-make me so horny; Oh rump of smooth skin, u say u wanna get in my benz, well use me use me cause u aint got an average groupie…

For those of u who dont notice the famous lyrics it is the talking part at the beginning and part of the 1st verse in "Baby Got Back" by Sir-Mix-A-Lot

everyone nodds*

Aeris: "Time for a new lifestlye.. goth looks good."

Tifa: "Astro-boy! Thank god! What has happened to the world when wee lads can no longer freely fly about in their underwear!?"

Barret: " Well, I’m famous, I’m successful, I’m loved.. I can do anything I want! I think I’ll raise an army of zombies in an inconspicuous place called.. Neverland Ranch!"

DUDE, THAT WAS WRONG BUT FUNNY

At your service.

Cloud: Oh so thats where all the tissues and toilet paper went.

"EikoFan69
Cloud: Aha! I shall defeat you, Sephiroth, with my Buster Swor…. *pull stick from back pocket*
Sephiroth: Pffff! HAHAHAHA! A stick!? I’m going to waste you with my super-duper-insanely long Masamu…. *pulls out toothpick* *Cloud gets devilish grin on his face*"

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!! that is so far, by far the best one i missed the first time i glanced at this board

Vincent (to Tifa): Will you plait my hair after this is done? Ive been growing it.

Cloud: Where the hell does my sword go when I put it behind my back?

Barrett: I luv’ the violin, bin a lil habbit of mine since I was jes’ a kid

Heidegger: Mr. President, we should hold a baby-kissing show to boost your public support Gya ha ha
Rufus: Good idea, I love children, and did I ever tell you how much I love your laugh?

Red XIII: How the hell are you my Grandad Grandpa?
Bugenhagen: …Another thing your father never wanted you to know…

Sephiroth: Cloud, after this is done wanna go for a coffee?

Palmer: This is a very serious matter everyone, am I fat?

Scarlet: This skirt is too high for my tastes, and is all this make up necessary?

This is fun :laugh:

Funniest one ever! Nice job!

Cloud: Where the hell does my sword go when I put it behind my back?

Red XIII: How the hell are you my Grandad Grandpa?
Bugenhagen: …Another thing your father never wanted you to know…

[/B]

LOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLLOLL!!!!!!!!
I’m seriously, LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG, those are so funny, and so true!!!

hehehe Im lovin some of these

i like this one.

oh wait i got one.

(everyone remebers this scene)
cloud stand in the chocobo racing dock talking to mrs. clown face. he just finished the race and his cell phone start playing the chicken dance.

cloud: " thats not my phone" *shifty eyes* he see everyone stare. " i sware it’s not me!"

barret voicemail : CLOUD PICK UP THE DAMN PHONE!!!

HAHAHAHAHA! Just like CLoud, ya know?

Originally posted by BrixtonBlack
Cloud wathcing Tifa undress

Cloud: Oh so thats where all the tissues and toilet paper went.

HAHAHAHAHA!

[QUOTE][i]
(everyone remebers this scene)
cloud stand in the chocobo racing dock talking to mrs. clown face. he just finished the race and his cell phone start playing the chicken dance.

cloud: " thats not my phone" *shifty eyes* he see everyone stare. " i sware it’s not me!"

barret voicemail : CLOUD PICK UP THE DAMN PHONE!!!

HAHAHAHAHAHHAAAAAAA!
(librarian) Shutup Squeaky!
…sorrry.
…..AhAAAAAaAaAA!!!!!

Barrett: Do yeh mind lookin’ after Marlene for a bit?
Elmyra (Aeris’ Mum): Do I look like a $%&%’in babysitter?! look after your own damn kid!

– Adam

sephiroth: you may think i’m me…i but i’m really not…

cloud: then who are you?

sephiroth: i’m really….*he grabs his chin and takes off the mask*

cloud: OH NO! THIS CAN’T BE! AHH ITS TOO HORRIBLE !

seph : " yes it is i! gorge bush!!" *wiggles ears*

or

when aeris and cloud corners cait saith in the gold saucer.

cait: even if you kill me, its usless, i’m just a stuf toy

aeris: then whos controlling you?!

cloud finds a curtain and a rope and pulls on it.

osama bin laden: uh…pay no attention to the stinky man behind the curtain. he is just a customer. leave him alone and go away please!

cloud raises his sword.

Cloud: "What do you mean I shouldn’t keep my sword in my pants?"

In the library…
Tifa: " Let’s see… ‘Boob Joke Comebacks 101’. Finally! Salvation!"
Aeris: "*across the room* Ohhh… ‘Comebacks to Boob Joke Comebacks 101’! I won’t loose Cloud to that whore Tifa!"
Cloud: "Hmm…oooo! ‘How to Spark Lasting Man-Love’!"

Bugenhagen: "*After 17 Sake bottles* Ohhhh! THREE Tifas.. hee hee… TRIPLE MINT GUM!!! YIPEE! Oh! Three Tifas also equals three fists! I see!"

Cid: "Men can be beautiful, too!"

Sephiroth: " *SQUEAL*!"

Cloud: (Drunk) Oh my gawd Red XIII you’re soooooo hot.
Red XIII: (Drunk too) you too Cloudy-Woudy wanna make out?
Cloud: ok I always wanted a mutant baby.

Ok not very good how bout this

Aeris: Cloud you are so %$^#%$ horrible letting Sephy kill me your a %$^$% Bastard.
Cloud: (Crys uncontrollably)
Vincent: No one talks about my man like that! *Shoots Aeris*
Cloud: Oh Vincent I love you! *kisses Vincent*

So what do ya think? lol 😀

Everyone had a slumber party but someone, a traitor, glued them all together

Aeris: Damn it who’s clutching my boob?!

Cid: Uh I would let go but my hand’s glued on. Sorry.

Aeris: $%#^ you Cid

Tifa: Oh Cloud I always dreamed we would be together….

Cloud: Uh I never wanted to be THIS close.

Yuffie: Ewwwwwww

Red XIII: Oh Yuffie don’t hold back I don’t bite, much. Meoooow.

(Yuffie’s hand is glued to Red XIII’s buttcrack)

Vincent: mmm…..Barret.. *Kisses Barret*

Barret: oh yea…..cmon Vincent give me all you got. *Kisses Vincent*

Cait Sith: BWA HA HA HA!!!!

Everyone(Except Vincent and Barret) : YOU SHALL DIE CAIT SITH, OWW…..AFTER WE GET OFF OF EACH OTHER!

Cait Sith: Fat Chance, that’s super glue BWA HA HA!!!

ROFLMAO

Barret: FFVII is not the greatest game ever. Heck, it’s not even that good at all.

Aeris: FFVII is not the greatest game ever. Heck, it’s not even that good at all.

Tifa: FFVII is not the greatest game ever. Heck, it’s not even that good at all.

Red XIII: FFVII is not the greatest game ever. Heck, it’s not even that good at all.

Cid: FFVII is not the greatest game ever. Heck, it’s not even that good at all.

Vincent: FFVII is not the greatest game ever. Heck, it’s not even that good at all.

Barret: FFVII is not the greatest game ever. Heck, it’s not even that good at all.

Aeris: FFVII is not the greatest game ever. Heck, it’s not even that good at all.

Tifa: FFVII is not the greatest game ever. Heck, it’s not even that good at all.

Red XIII: FFVII is not the greatest game ever. Heck, it’s not even that good at all.

Cid: FFVII is not the greatest game ever. Heck, it’s not even that good at all.

Vincent: FFVII is not the greatest game ever. Heck, it’s not even that good at all.

Please please please please leave your I hate/dislike FF7 comments in your "Why FF7 isn’t a good game thread" please? I’m trying not to make someone over offended and start some pointless fight.

I haven’t done one in a while so i’ll try one:

Cloud: Old Mcdonald had a farm
Cloud&Tifa: E-I-E-I-O
C: and on his farm he had a pig
C&T: E-I-E-I-O
C: with an
T: oink oink here
C:and an
T: Oink Oink there
C:Here an
T: oink
C:there an
T: oink
C:Everywhere an
T: oink oink
C&T: Old Mcdonald had
Barret: SHUT THE @#%$ UP!
Red 13: Yhea, act your own age me and Barret are trying to watch Barney

Yep it sucked but I mainly posted it because I had old Mcdonald stuck in my head all day.

Cloud: Barret, could we have a gay marriage

Tifa: Is my hair too long? Should I get it cut short?

Aerith: Flowers are too sissy!

Barret: I LOVE Shinra! I wanna be President someday!

Yuffie: I quit stealing materia because stealings a sin!

Vincent: Cid, can we go to the bed?

Sephiroth: I don’t want the planet to die! Life’s too good!

Cid: Smokings BAD!

Cait Sith: Fortune tellers are rubbish!

Elena: Reno, I love you now, not Tseng!

Reno: I’ll accept whatever comes.

Rude: I don’t wanna girlfriend.

Rufus: I won’t hurt the planet anymore!

President Shinra(the fat one): money isn’t everything!

Nanaki Wolf, yours is hillarious! ROFLMAO!!

Cloud:I can help you……(scratches head and thinks to himself) But wouldn’t that make Tifa jealous? Oh well. (shrugs and helps aeris with weeds.)

Tifa: (barging in) Just use your damn big sword to cut the weeds and help me at the bar. Arghhhh….I can’t stand it.(stamping her feet in rage)

Yuffie and Nanaki: (together in unison) And that’s what they called solving a relationship. Jeez. Just live 500 miles apart from each other!!

Please please please please leave your I hate/dislike FF7 comments in your "Why FF7 isn’t a good game thread" please? I’m trying not to make someone over offended and start some pointless fight.

I haven’t done one in a while so i’ll try one:

Cloud: Old Mcdonald had a farm
Cloud&Tifa: E-I-E-I-O
C: and on his farm he had a pig
C&T: E-I-E-I-O
C: with an
T: oink oink here
C:and an
T: Oink Oink there
C:Here an
T: oink
C:there an
T: oink
C:Everywhere an
T: oink oink
C&T: Old Mcdonald had
Barret: SHUT THE @#%$ UP!
Red 13: Yhea, act your own age me and Barret are trying to watch Barney

That wasn’t so bad! LOL

[QUOTE]Originally posted by Nanaki_Wolf
[B]

I haven’t done one in a while so i’ll try one:

Cloud: Old Mcdonald had a farm
Cloud&Tifa: E-I-E-I-O
C: and on his farm he had a pig
C&T: E-I-E-I-O
C: with an
T: oink oink here
C:and an
T: Oink Oink there
C:Here an
T: oink
C:there an
T: oink
C:Everywhere an
T: oink oink
C&T: Old Mcdonald had
Barret: SHUT THE @#%$ UP!
Red 13: Yhea, act your own age me and Barret are trying to watch Barney

That wasn’t so bad! LOL

I haven’t done one in a while so i’ll try one:

Cloud: Old Mcdonald had a farm
Cloud&Tifa: E-I-E-I-O
C: and on his farm he had a pig
C&T: E-I-E-I-O
C: with an
T: oink oink here
C:and an
T: Oink Oink there
C:Here an
T: oink
C:there an
T: oink
C:Everywhere an
T: oink oink
C&T: Old Mcdonald had
Barret: SHUT THE @#%$ UP!
Red 13: Yhea, act your own age me and Barret are trying to watch Barney

That wasn’t so bad! LOL

LOL LOL dang it man you made me wet my pants ROFLMAO

I hate Microsoft.

Cloud: "Hey, look. I can’t really lift this this thing so…do you think you could just die?"

Aerith: "Old men with lots of money and no morals are so sexy!"

Tifa: "*laying down* Hey, Barret? Could you roll me on my side? My boobs are crushing my lungs."

Cid: "I AMMMM…EL NINO!!! FOR THOSE OF YOU WHO DO NOT HABLA ESPANOL, EL NINO IS SPANISH FOR……..uhhh.. THE NINO!!!"

Barret: ok ok, you have to tell me that one again tifa! HAHAHAHA

Aeris: who knew making fun of blodes would be so…fun!

tifa: ok ok here it goes…
cloud and cid walk into a bar….ouch!

the gang rofl

gang: HAHAHAHAAHAH!

Barret: wiat wait i got one!
one time Cid was going to take flying lessons, so he went to the airport to rent a plane. The manager told him there were no planes left so he would have to use a helicopter. So Cid got in the helicopter and took off. Every 10 miles he checked in with the manager; after the first 10 miles, he said it was a blast. When he reached 20 he told him that he had never seen so many buttons. But when he reached 30 miles she didn’t check in so the manager went to rescue him. When he found him he asked him how he crashed. Cid said, "It was getting cold so I turned off the big fan."

Gang: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

VINCENT: Let me try!
After entering Gold saucer, Cloud went up to a soda machine. Cloud put in 50 cents and out popped a coke. He searched his wallet for more money. he found some and kept feeding the machine money. Cokes and Sprite and Mountain Dew bottles began rolling down the street.
A young woman walked up behind him and watched this for a few minutes. Then she asked, "Can I get one now?"
Cloud whizzed around and yelled, "No way, can’t you see I’m winning?"

ROFLMAO ROFLMAO ROFLMAO ROFLMAO ROFLMAO HAHAHA!

OMG THAT IS SO FUNNY!

Tifa: Aerith, I love you! Do you wanna be lesbians? I still love guys too!

Aerith: Really Tifa you’d do that for me? Yeah baby your my whore tonight!

Cloud: Hey lovley ladies, I don’t wanna miss out on all the fun! Let’s have a threesome! *Cloud thinking*I love this the two women I love most actually wanna kiss! *Cloud thinking*

Tifa: I love you Aerith and Cloud!

Aerith: I love you too Tifa and Cloud!

Cloud: I love you Tifa and Aerith! You’re my lovely ladies!

Barret and Red XIII: Have fun you three!

Cloud: Dam Sephiroth you’re a bad stabber. Here let me give you some pointers.

Cloud stabs Aeris and she dies

Cloud: See?

Sephiroth:……

Sephiroth stabs Cloud and he dies

Sephiroth: Uh oh now I have no one worth killing left.

Sephiroth stabs himself and dies.

I know it’s crappy…..here’s another

Cloud: Ouchie…..

Cloud scraped his knee.

Aeris: Oh my baby. Here i’ll make you feel better *kisses Cloud*

Cloud:waaaaaah!

Tifa: Aeris sucks at kissing here. *Tifa kisses Cloud really hard*

Cloud:waaaaaaaaaaaah!

Aeris: Haha!

Tifa: My kiss didn’t work? WAAAAAAAAAH!!

Barret: *kisses Cloud*

Cloud:I feel all warm and cuddly inside. Oh Barret your the one! *Dips Barret down and kisses Barret*

Ok I rest my case until later……Ifeel ashamed

Cloud: Dam Sephiroth you’re a bad stabber. Here let me give you some pointers.

Cloud stabs Aeris and she dies

Cloud: See?

Sephiroth:……

Sephiroth stabs Cloud and he dies

Sephiroth: Uh oh now I have no one worth killing left.

Sephiroth stabs himself and dies.

I know it’s crappy…..here’s another

Cloud: Ouchie…..

Cloud scraped his knee.

Aeris: Oh my baby. Here i’ll make you feel better *kisses Cloud*

Cloud:waaaaaah!

Tifa: Aeris sucks at kissing here. *Tifa kisses Cloud really hard*

Cloud:waaaaaaaaaaaah!

Aeris: Haha!

Tifa: My kiss didn’t work? WAAAAAAAAAH!!

Barret: *kisses Cloud*

Cloud:I feel all warm and cuddly inside. Oh Barret your the one! *Dips Barret down and kisses Barret*

Ok I rest my case until later……Ifeel ashamed

I admit your first one was kinda mean. I do love your second one though, I’ll give you that! It was funny. LMAO!

Barret: ok ok, you have to tell me that one again tifa! HAHAHAHA

Aeris: who knew making fun of blodes would be so…fun!

tifa: ok ok here it goes…
cloud and cid walk into a bar….ouch!

the gang rofl

gang: HAHAHAHAAHAH!

Barret: wiat wait i got one!
one time Cid was going to take flying lessons, so he went to the airport to rent a plane. The manager told him there were no planes left so he would have to use a helicopter. So Cid got in the helicopter and took off. Every 10 miles he checked in with the manager; after the first 10 miles, he said it was a blast. When he reached 20 he told him that he had never seen so many buttons. But when he reached 30 miles she didn’t check in so the manager went to rescue him. When he found him he asked him how he crashed. Cid said, "It was getting cold so I turned off the big fan."

Gang: HAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!

VINCENT: Let me try!
After entering Gold saucer, Cloud went up to a soda machine. Cloud put in 50 cents and out popped a coke. He searched his wallet for more money. he found some and kept feeding the machine money. Cokes and Sprite and Mountain Dew bottles began rolling down the street.
A young woman walked up behind him and watched this for a few minutes. Then she asked, "Can I get one now?"
Cloud whizzed around and yelled, "No way, can’t you see I’m winning?"

Hah hah hah. I like that one. Now all you need is Cloud and Cid’s revenge. like using Photoshop to fabricate images of everyone having sex with animals, or something like that.

Tifa:it’s not in all the way
Cloud:what do you mean look its in all the way!
Tifa:no its not push this time
cloud:there are you happy is it in!
tifa:NO!
Cloud:forget it!
*cloud walks away and the nail falls out of the tree house*

Cloud: *waking up in the morning* Yawn! Do I have to do patrol duty again? I don’t wanna, cause I’m too lazy. Yawn! I’ll just go back to sleep Tifa. Then whenever I feel like waking up, I’ll watch Saturday morning cartoons!

Aerith: *waking up in the morning at her house in sector five* Yawn! Do I have to get up and sell flowers again? I don’t wanna cause I hate flowers now! I’ll go back to sleep and see if I can be a fighter like Cloud and Tifa!

Barrett: Man these Saturday morning cartoons are funny! HA HA! HA HA! Man I’m getting a kick out of this!

Marlene: Daddy, shouldn’t you be getting ready for patrol duty with Cloud instead of wasting your time watching kiddie cartoons?

Barrett: Quiet Marlene! I don’t wanna miss any of my cartoons!

Cloud: *get’s up* What!? C’mon Barrett, you’re letting me miss out on all the fun in my cartoons! Gimmie that remote control!

Barrett: NO MINE!

Cloud: NO MINE!

Tifa: Barrett, Cloud honey, could you keep it down!? I’m trying to get my beauty sleep!

I know those might be alittle too silly.

Tifa:it’s not in all the way
Cloud:what do you mean look its in all the way!
Tifa:no its not push this time
cloud:there are you happy is it in!
tifa:NO!
Cloud:forget it!
*cloud walks away and the nail falls out of the tree house*

I don’t know why, but I found that rather funny.

Sephiroth, Cloud, Cid, Vincent, and Barret: We’re knights of the round table! We dance whene’er we’re able! We do routines and chorus scenes with footwork impaccable! We dine well here in Camelot, we eat ham and jam and spam a lot!
We’re knights of the round table! our shows are formidable! But many times we’re given rhymes that are quite unsingable! We’re opera mad in Camelot, we sing from the diaphragm a lot!
In war we’re tough and able, quite indefatigable! Between our quests we sequin vests and impersonate Mark Gable! It’s a busy life in Camelot!

Sephiroth: I have to push the pram a lot!

Tifa: Wow, that was weird.
Aerith: Yeah. Wanna make out?
Tifa: Okay.

Tifa:it’s not in all the way
Cloud:what do you mean look its in all the way!
Tifa:no its not push this time
cloud:there are you happy is it in!
tifa:NO!
Cloud:forget it!
*cloud walks away and the nail falls out of the tree house*
ROFLMAO!! That was hilarious.

Oh. I got one:
Cloud:Old MacBarret sitting on a bench, banging his hand with a monkeywrench.Missed his hand,hit his balls,they went over his overalls.He went to the doctor and the doctor said:Oh my god your balls are red!When I die, bury me, stick my balls in a cherry tree. When they’re ripe, take a bite. Hope you don’t, puke all night!!!!
Barret: Shut the @$#^ up Cloud*fires gun rapidly all over the place*
Cloud:Old McBarret…
Barret: Shut up, @$$!
Cloud:Hee Hee Hee

ROFLMAO!! That was hilarious.

Oh. I got one:
Cloud:Old MacBarret sitting on a bench, banging his hand with a monkeywrench.Missed his hand,hit his balls,they went over his overalls.He went to the doctor and the doctor said:Oh my god your balls are red!When I die, bury me, stick my balls in a cherry tree. When they’re ripe, take a bite. Hope you don’t, puke all night!!!!
Barret: Shut the @$#^ up Cloud*fires gun rapidly all over the place*
Cloud:Old McBarret…
Barret: Shut up, @$$!
Cloud:Hee Hee Hee

Hah hah hah. That was moderatley disturbing, but very funny.

ROFLMAO!! That was hilarious.

Oh. I got one:
Cloud:Old MacBarret sitting on a bench, banging his hand with a monkeywrench.Missed his hand,hit his balls,they went over his overalls.He went to the doctor and the doctor said:Oh my god your balls are red!When I die, bury me, stick my balls in a cherry tree. When they’re ripe, take a bite. Hope you don’t, puke all night!!!!
Barret: Shut the @$#^ up Cloud*fires gun rapidly all over the place*
Cloud:Old McBarret…
Barret: Shut up, @$$!
Cloud:Hee Hee Hee

man that was great!!
😀 😀 😀 😀

Barret: wiat wait i got one!
one time Cid was going to take flying lessons, so he went to the airport to rent a plane. The manager told him there were no planes left so he would have to use a helicopter. So Cid got in the helicopter and took off. Every 10 miles he checked in with the manager; after the first 10 miles, he said it was a blast. When he reached 20 he told him that he had never seen so many buttons. But when he reached 30 miles she didn’t check in so the manager went to rescue him. When he found him he asked him how he crashed. Cid said, "It was getting cold so I turned off the big fan."

LOLOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!

Originally posted by god is dead

man that was great!!
😀 😀 😀 😀
Thanx!!!

Barret: *sitting in a Gondola with Cloud and Tifa* I…I want to make love to you…
Cloud:…uh….me? Or her?
Barret:..yes.
Tifa: I…uh… can’t have sex without my..uhh.. boob braces. Yeah. Boob braces. I left them in Midgar, oopsie.
Cloud: *blushing* Well, I’d hoped never to have to tell anyone this, but.. the sword is major compensation…
Barret: Well, you could be the wife-
Cloud: And I have a rash. A horrifying rash. I once killed a man with it. I have to burn every toilet I use.
Tifa: Yes, I have one as well. Cloud gave it to me.
Barret: But..when did this..happen? How?
Tifa: Well, I snuck into Cloud’s room one night and-
Cloud: Hey, you promised to keep that night a secret!
Tifa: But so much happened that night! Such experimentation! I can’t hold it in any longer!
Barret: Noooo!!!! *jumps out of Gondola to his death*
Cloud and Tifa:…huh.
Tifa: So, do you really have a rash? *getting rather close to Cloud*
Cloud: Actually, I don’t really know. I could by tomorrow morning, though…* the gondola finishes it’s track. Aerith is waiting, glaring at Cloud and Tifa*
Tifa: Uh.. honey! I can explain, it was just-!
Aerith: Oh, no more excuses, Tifa! It’s time I taught you a new lesson!
Tifa: NO! Not again! Not the rack!
Aerith: Oh, yes. The rack. *drags Tifa off*
Cloud: *looks at Master Nabeshin* You have too much free fuckin’ time.
Master Nabeshin: Heh heh heh…

Barret: *sitting in a Gondola with Cloud and Tifa* I…I want to make love to you…
Cloud:…uh….me? Or her?
Barret:..yes.
Tifa: I…uh… can’t have sex without my..uhh.. boob braces. Yeah. Boob braces. I left them in Midgar, oopsie.
Cloud: *blushing* Well, I’d hoped never to have to tell anyone this, but.. the sword is major compensation…
Barret: Well, you could be the wife-
Cloud: And I have a rash. A horrifying rash. I once killed a man with it. I have to burn every toilet I use.
Tifa: Yes, I have one as well. Cloud gave it to me.
Barret: But..when did this..happen? How?
Tifa: Well, I snuck into Cloud’s room one night and-
Cloud: Hey, you promised to keep that night a secret!
Tifa: But so much happened that night! Such experimentation! I can’t hold it in any longer!
Barret: Noooo!!!! *jumps out of Gondola to his death*
Cloud and Tifa:…huh.
Tifa: So, do you really have a rash? *getting rather close to Cloud*
Cloud: Actually, I don’t really know. I could by tomorrow morning, though…* the gondola finishes it’s track. Aerith is waiting, glaring at Cloud and Tifa*
Tifa: Uh.. honey! I can explain, it was just-!
Aerith: Oh, no more excuses, Tifa! It’s time I taught you a new lesson!
Tifa: NO! Not again! Not the rack!
Aerith: Oh, yes. The rack. *drags Tifa off*
Cloud: *looks at Master Nabeshin* You have too much free fuckin’ time.
Master Nabeshin: Heh heh heh…

Some how that was very very funny!

Ok i making this on as i go………….. so go along with me!

*cloud walks into the hanuted hotel in the gold saucer*
Cloud: BARRET WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THAT GHOST
*cloud begins to puke*
*tifa walks into the hanuted hotel in the gold saucer*
Tifa: BARRET WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THAT GHOST!
*tifa begins to puke* *cait sith walks into the hanuted hotel in the gold saucer*
Cait Sith: The ghost eat you apple again barret?
*barret jumps out of the ghosts mouth and it disappers*
Barret:NO THIS TIME THAT DAMN THING ATE MY %&#$%# KIT KAT BAR!

i know…………….stupid

Tifa: *getting close to Cloud* Cloud who are you in love with?

Cloud: Not with you that’s for sure HA Ha!

Tifa: *slaps Cloud* Who are you in love with damn it?!

Cloud: Red XIII

Tifa: *Slaps herself* shouldn’t have asked.

Cloud: Heh Heh….

How bout this?

Yuffie: I love Cloud!

Aeris: No I love Cloud!!

Tifa: No I LOVE CLOUD!!!

Barret: No I love Cloud and that’s final!

Aeris&Tifa&Yuffie: *shrugs* ok.

Cloudmeister:Or this…..

Tifa: Damn it Cloudmeister you’re going to die for making my life miserable in these jokes!!! *aims punch at me*

Cloudmeister: *stabs Tifa* heh heh BWA HA HA!!!

Cloud: Not with you that’s for sure HA Ha!

Tifa: *slaps Cloud* Who are you in love with damn it?!

Cloud: Red XIII

Tifa: *Slaps herself* shouldn’t have asked.

Cloud: Heh Heh….

Actually, I rather like that one.

Some how that was very very funny!

Ok i making this on as i go………….. so go along with me!

*cloud walks into the hanuted hotel in the gold saucer*
Cloud: BARRET WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THAT GHOST
*cloud begins to puke*
*tifa walks into the hanuted hotel in the gold saucer*
Tifa: BARRET WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO THAT GHOST!
*tifa begins to puke* *cait sith walks into the hanuted hotel in the gold saucer*
Cait Sith: The ghost eat you apple again barret?
*barret jumps out of the ghosts mouth and it disappers*
Barret:NO THIS TIME THAT DAMN THING ATE MY %&#$%# KIT KAT BAR!

i know…………….stupid

lololol that was pretty funny i think 😀

Barret: Hey, Aerith, what’s this button on your staff? *presses button, the staff vibrates* Uh….
Aerith: Hey, this isn’t my staff! *everybody stares* It’s not!

aeris and tifa walks in.

tifa: hey guys whatcha….*stare* up too…
aeris: HAHAHAHAHA I CAN’T BELIVE YOUR DOING THAT!

the guys : HEY I DON’T SEE YOUR NAME ON THE POLLS!

that girls : ya cuz we didn’t put our names in who’s the hottest video game character! that site is for nerds!

the guys are silent.

–; well i tryed.

aeris and tifa walks in.

tifa: hey guys whatcha….*stare* up too…
aeris: HAHAHAHAHA I CAN’T BELIVE YOUR DOING THAT!

the guys : HEY I DON’T SEE YOUR NAME ON THE POLLS!

that girls : ya cuz we didn’t put our names in who’s the hottest video game character! that site is for nerds!

the guys are silent.

–; well i tryed.

LMAO! hahahahahaha *drops on floor* that is funny!

aeris and tifa walks in.

tifa: hey guys whatcha….*stare* up too…
aeris: HAHAHAHAHA I CAN’T BELIVE YOUR DOING THAT!

the guys : HEY I DON’T SEE YOUR NAME ON THE POLLS!

that girls : ya cuz we didn’t put our names in who’s the hottest video game character! that site is for nerds!

the guys are silent.

–; well i tryed.

Gotta admit its funny. Also I liked the one about the Saturday morning cartoons. Sorry but I still haven’t thought of any good ones.

If this one sucks don’t blame me I too am making it up as I go.

Seph:* at North Crater*" Mother, when do I get a break to go to the restroom? I’ve had to go since Midgar."
Jenova:* in the bathroom*" Just five more minutes."

that sucked. how ’bout

Cloud:" Tifa can you gimme a hand here?"
Tifa:" Sure. What do you need help with?"
Cloud:" This."
Tifa:" Wha… Cloud what do you think you’re doing?! You’re doing all wrong."
Cloud:" Then how do I do it?"
Tifa:" I really don’t know. Well I’m gone."
*Cloud was trying to embrioder a heart on a pillow*

Now that blowed. Sorry I can’t think of anything funny.

aeris and tifa walks in.

tifa: hey guys whatcha….*stare* up too…
aeris: HAHAHAHAHA I CAN’T BELIVE YOUR DOING THAT!

the guys : HEY I DON’T SEE YOUR NAME ON THE POLLS!

that girls : ya cuz we didn’t put our names in who’s the hottest video game character! that site is for nerds!

the guys are silent.

–; well i tryed.

Oh, it’s so true! There’s no denying it! Anyone who love Final Fantasy enough to poll the hottest character is a nerd! A nerd with some minor issues, I might add. I’m a nerd with some issues…

Red XIII: PET ME!! I’M FUZZY!!!

Barret: *Sitting in a dilapidated red chair in a large dilapidated room, sporting designer shades and a neat-o trench coat* Neo…
Cloud: Oh, hell no*reaches for his sword*.
Barret: You are the one…
Cloud: I’ve seen this movie already.
Barret: That was but a movie..but this..oh, this is reality. Or is it? What do you see when you wake up in the morning?
Cloud: Usually the ceiling. Sometimes Tifa. Or Aerith. Once in a while Yuffie depending how how much I was drinking. But one time I got so wasted and Red XIII was just-
Barret: But, are they real?
Cloud: That really depends on what I remember of the night before…
Barret: Would you like to find out how real? Take the red pill. Or, if you’re going to be a boring bastard, take the blue pill.
Cloud: What happens if you take both?
Barret:…I don’t know….look just take the red pill!
Cloud: Fine, whatever. *swallows the pill. looses conciousness* *a few hours later* Wha..where am I? *looks around* Hey, this is my bedroom! What the hell? The blue pill is supposed to-*looks next to him*
Barret: Good morning, big boy *smooch*.
Cloud: AAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH! *turns Barret into hamburger*
Boy that was fun and disturbing.

Cid: Sometimes it’s harrrrd… to be a womaaann…giving all your love… to just one man….

Sephiroth: I love you, Bob Barker!

I’ve got one;

Red XIII: Yuffie can you get me a kitten collar for my Birthday? I’m a cute little kitten!! Ladies, can I bite your clothes off too?

Yuffie: Sure if you bite my clothes off and pay me to do that so I can buy you a kitty collar!! Or, I’ll sell all the materia I stole. I don’t need materia! I’ll just have you bite all my clothes for free and sell my materia for your cute kitten collar!

Tifa: Red XIII, why don’t you use my ribbon instead! It looks so cute on you! And then bite my clothes off.

Vincent: Try using my headband Red! That would look twice as cute!

Cloud: Just use me shirt too like a cat sweater too! I’m having a foursome with the ladies when he rips off their clothes.

Aerith: Don’t forget the flower in my hair. Awww how cute!! He looks like a big cute kitty!! And then rip my dress off with your teeth.

Red XIII : I LOVE MY NEW KITTY CLOTHES! SOMEONE WANNA TAKE ME HOME!!!???? I’M A CUTE KITTY!

Cloud, Aeris, and Yuffie jumps in and off they go.

aeriscloud (as attendant): Place your bets now. The JackPot is on the spot!!

Tifa: So, let’s bet who’s going to forfeit outta the ride, everyone!!

Barret: 60000 Gill on Yuffie. (smiling to himself) I’m going to be a rich man. Now I can always get that doll house that Marlene wanted

Cait Sith: 80000 Gil on Yuffie. There’s no way she’ll come back in one piece!! Yay!! I’m going to be mcccccccccRiiiiiiiiiicccchhhhhhh!!

Tifa: 90000 gil on Yuffie. Now Cloud, Aeris, and me can go to that dream vacation we always wanted!! Woohoo!!

Nanaki: Skip me out….I’m broke.

Vincent: All of you fools’ money!! I’m on Cloud and Aeris. Then we’ll see who’s the rich man! Bwahhhhaaaaa.

T/B/C: Whattt!! Big loser! We’ll be laughing at you. Bwahhhaaaaa(in unision)

The ride comes back.

Tifa: It’s going to be Yuffie!

Barret: It’s Yuffie!

Cait Sith: It’s Yuffie!

aeriscloud: And the big winner is…………
(Tifa, Barret, and Cait Sith grinning with happiness)
VINCENT!! You are the lucky winner of today’s "Guess who puke on the Ride" as today, Cloud and Aeris puke on the ride.

Vincent: Well, I won. So, give me all of your money. It’s time for my grand dream vacation with Cloud and Aeris. In your face, Tifa. Ha ha ha ha.

Tifa: No fair. Meanie. Just waita minute…

Barret: How could Yuffie not get sick?….

Cait Sith: Yeah, we shoulda won.

Yuffie: Easy. I took motion air sickness pill, the latest by Shinra. Ah, what a fun ride!!

Cloud and Aeris: Urghh! Where’s the bathroom? (rushes to the bathroom to throw up)

Vincent: Wait for me. (prances like a school boy) Now, we can go to our dream vacation.

Cloud, Aeris, and Yuffie jumps in and off they go.

aeriscloud (as attendant): Place your bets now. The JackPot is on the spot!!

Tifa: So, let’s bet who’s going to forfeit outta the ride, everyone!!

Barret: 60000 Gill on Yuffie. (smiling to himself) I’m going to be a rich man. Now I can always get that doll house that Marlene wanted

Cait Sith: 80000 Gil on Yuffie. There’s no way she’ll come back in one piece!! Yay!! I’m going to be mcccccccccRiiiiiiiiiicccchhhhhhh!!

Tifa: 90000 gil on Yuffie. Now Cloud, Aeris, and me can go to that dream vacation we always wanted!! Woohoo!!

Nanaki: Skip me out….I’m broke.

Vincent: All of you fools’ money!! I’m on Cloud and Aeris. Then we’ll see who’s the rich man! Bwahhhhaaaaa.

T/B/C: Whattt!! Big loser! We’ll be laughing at you. Bwahhhaaaaa(in unision)

The ride comes back.

Tifa: It’s going to be Yuffie!

Barret: It’s Yuffie!

Cait Sith: It’s Yuffie!

aeriscloud: And the big winner is…………
(Tifa, Barret, and Cait Sith grinning with happiness)
VINCENT!! You are the lucky winner of today’s "Guess who puke on the Ride" as today, Cloud and Aeris puke on the ride.

Vincent: Well, I won. So, give me all of your money. It’s time for my grand dream vacation with Cloud and Aeris. In your face, Tifa. Ha ha ha ha.

Tifa: No fair. Meanie. Just waita minute…

Barret: How could Yuffie not get sick?….

Cait Sith: Yeah, we shoulda won.

Yuffie: Easy. I took motion air sickness pill, the latest by Shinra. Ah, what a fun ride!!

Cloud and Aeris: Urghh! Where’s the bathroom? (rushes to the bathroom to throw up)

Vincent: Wait for me. (prances like a school boy) Now, we can go to our dream vacation.

Very creative aeriscloud!

cloud: Look at me and my bad self! woot woot! *disco dances*
(ok that was from emperors new groove)

vincent: ROOOOAAARRR!
red: wow, thats really scary, but you need a tic tac or something because your breath stinks!

cloud: i’m not a messeger boy…i’m a delivery boy.

barret: NONONO! i’m like an onion!
yuffie: you stink?
barret: yes- no
yuffie: they grow in the dirt?
barret: NO!
yuffie: oooh you mean when you leave them out in the run and they sprout tiny green hairs!
*barret gives up*

caitsith: but i’m a real boy!

Red XIII: Purrrrr Purrrrr Purrrrr
Rufus: Awww look at the cute kitty

Red XIII: Rrrreeeoooooww RRRREEEEOOOOOOWWWW!!*scratch scratch scrath*

Cloud and Tifa as Shrek and Fiona;

Cloud: May I have this dance my dear wife?

Tifa: I’d LOVE to suga’!

red xIII: I’ AM PUSS!….in boots…*grins*

tifa and aeris: AWWWW LOOKAT THE KITTY!! *SQUEAL*

Sephiroth: Hello, and welcome to tonight’s episode of America’s Funniest Home Videos! To start off, we have an image of me bitchslapping Bob Fag-, er Saggot.

See what happens whe you get bored. If I let anyone out, Sorry. But can you tell that I was bored.

Tifa&Cloud in bed together

Tifa:Oh yea!

Cloud: ZzZz

Tifa: OH yea

Cloud: ZZzzZZ

Tifa: OH YEA!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Cloud: AHHH WHAT THE HELL U DOIN IN MY BED.

Tifa: Umm……looking for my Snickers (Get it? Snickers and Cloud’s…..nevermind) Candy Bar?

Cloud: Oh ok. *Goes to sleep*

Tifa: Ohhhhh yeaaaaa

I wonder if Cloud and Tifa has a romance after the game was beaten? But once again this one on top is sick here’s some more.

Aeris: I’m bored with flowers maybe i’ll run a motorcycle buisness.

Cloud: I’m dying my hair PINK!!!

Barret: I’m taking a long Mako Bath.

Tifa: I need to buy a new pair of boobs these ones are too small.

Red XIII:I’m ashamed of my mother and proud about my lazy father. YOU ROCK!!! HUT HUT!

Cait Sith: I’m nice

Yuffie: Stealing’s badddd karma.

Cid: I love you

Vincent: I’m so damn lonely I need a hug!!!

hmm…..

I don’t know how many people are going to get that, but..

Another worthless peice of crap brought to you by my excessive free time!

I was really bored today so I checked out the last page to see how old it was(yep I know I have no life) and I found This (http://forums.ffshrine.org/showthread.php?s=&thread=1274). If it doesnt work just go to the last page for FF7 and click "FF7: Things you didn’t see". Its really funny but it takes a REALLY long time to read.

Tifa-I declare my bar "closed" for drinking is bad!

Vincent and Barret together-Guns are evil! EVIL!

Aerith-My hair is too long! I’m gonna get it cut like Yuffie’s! I don’t need those sissy flowers anyway!

Lol! That was good Prak!

Red XIII-I could use a good brushing on my coat. I need a bath!

Yuffie-I’m getting bored with materia! I’ll move on to dress making and move to Midgar in Sector 5 Wallmarket! I wanna be a dressmaker!

Cait Sith-My fortune telling sucks! I’m quitting!

Sephiroth-Wow! I never shoulda killed Aerith! I know what I did was terrible and she did the right thing to do her best to stop me from meteor! I kinda thought she was cute too! I could’ve raped her instead!

Sephiroth: Oh, god! Is she okay? Oh, jeez- I swear I slipped off that ledge up there! It’s not too bad, is it? Oh god! It’s sticking through! Oh god! Oh god! I can see blood! *waves arms around* I hate blood! Eww! Eww!

Barret: Hello, chillins. Welcome to Mr. Wallace’s ‘hood.

Aerith: *shortly before death* Cloud, for a long time, I’ve always wanted to be penetrated by a man, and I’m getting a feeling like I’ll meet him soon. Mmmmm…

Sephiroth: Oh, god! Is she okay? Oh, jeez- I swear I slipped off that ledge up there! It’s not too bad, is it? Oh god! It’s sticking through! Oh god! Oh god! I can see blood! *waves arms around* I hate blood! Eww! Eww!

I love that one Master Nabeshin. That was too funny.

Sorry about the other one that I put before. I can’t think of a good one yet so I will post nothing.

Sephiroth: Oh, god! Is she okay? Oh, jeez- I swear I slipped off that ledge up there! It’s not too bad, is it? Oh god! It’s sticking through! Oh god! Oh god! I can see blood! *waves arms around* I hate blood! Eww! Eww!

yeah that was great. 😀

Cloud:Huh?

Red: Word….

Cloud&Tifa:What?

Red: Radical!!!

Cloud&Tifa&Barret: What the he….

Red: BOOYA

Barret: your one funky animal.

—————–
I’m Bored
—————–

Yuffie: Cid…..I never told you this but…….your…..hot?!

Cid: Ahhhh I think your a doll too.

Yuffie: No literally your on fire.

Cid: AAAAAH PUT OUT THIS FU%&ING FLAME PUT IT OUT PUT IT OUT!!!

Yuffie: *giggles* told ya

——————————-
I just love this forum 🙂
——————————-

🙂 🙂 🙂

Cloud:Huh?

Red: Word….

Cloud&Tifa:What?

Red: Radical!!!

Cloud&Tifa&Barret: What the he….

Red: BOOYA

Barret: your one funky animal.

LMAO i find that hilarious ^ ^

I wanna hear more with Red XIII cmon more Red XIII

Tifa:*Somersaulting all around the top of highwind.* Ooh i’m so pretty so very very—*Falls overboard* Ay yi yiiiii!!!!!

Cloud:*Jumps overboard to save Tifa an all of a sudden her boobs rip off and smacks Cloud in the face knocking him out.*

Tifa: Cloud I just bought those yester—*Hits the bottom*day……

———————————–
Too much free time people
———————————–

Killermoogle, a soon to be new poster here in the shrine wanted me to post this joke for him.

Cid is sleeping but a wierd moaning wakes him up. All of a sudden he said "I need to buy some cigerettes to calm my nerves." Then the moaning continues. So cid walks outside into the hall, he realized he had no money. "Damn it….hey Cloud and Tifa has gil!" So cid walks into there room where the noize came from. He saw Tifa and Cloud grabbing at each other, totally nude (eeeeeew) clinging onto each other. Cid says "You too horny love birds give me gil for my cigars or i’ll blow your mother fu$@ @$$."
They hand over gil and Cid ended up videotaping the whole thing and showed it to everyone on the highwind. Barret said "Aww….I had a good sleep." Cid said "Not me….oh yeah check out this video tape I made with Cloud and Tifa doing it, rough. Cloud and Tifa fall out of their chairs going "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Remember if you have problems it’s not my joke but I did ROFLMAO

i did make 1% of the last joke

Here’s one

*They all got there math tests back*

Cloud: I’m….class dophus. (25%)

Tifa: I got 40% haha!!!

Aeris oh yea? 41% booya baby it’s all about the benjamens.

Tifa: Ooh you bit%h.

Yuffie: I’m a genius! (73%)

Red XII: I’m a nerd. (100%)

Cid:Heh heh (100% but really he got 1%)

Vincent: I saw you cheat Cid. (1% but could’ve got 99.9%)

Cait Sith: Why am I here? (50%)

Barret: Because your a moron moron. (2%)

Cloudmeister: I’m happy to say all of you are damn idiots and that those tests came from a 1st grade classroom. HA HA HA

——————————————————
I’m so ashamed….I could think better.
Here’s the scores from high to low.

Red XIII:100% but he’s too damn smart
Cid: 100% but he’s such a cheater
Yuffie: 73% but accidentally stole the wrong answer book.
Cait Sith: 50% but marked all of the answers As.
Aeris: 41% but was staring at Cloud the whole time.
Tifa:40% but was staring at her boobs part time and Cloud the other part
Cloud: 25% and didn’t do a damn thing.
Barret: 2% but he was thinking about Vincent too much and how mysterious he is.
Vincent: 1% but you’d think he got higher but he was partly writing in his diary

"Barret is so dreamy" is what he said.
——————————————————

Here’s another i hope is better

Barret: ………………a…………….b………….. ……c
Red XIII: damn man you can’t even do your 1 2 3’s
Barret:abc’s you moron.
———————————————————

Why is my brain not working it’s turning into goo!!!!!! and why do i always think it’s 2 in the morning when it’s only 6 pm?!

Tifa – "What does it say?"

Cid – "Is it a threat from Rufus?"

Cloud – "No. They want me to be in a hairspray commercial."

Tifa – "What does it say?"

Cid – "Is it a threat from Rufus?"

Cloud – "No. They want me to be in a hairspray commercial."
XD that was good.

Vincent:Quoth the Raven, "Nevermore".

Sephiroth: Now, kids, I’m here to tell you a very important message: don’t play god.

Q: What is the name of your final limit break?

A: Omnislash B: Chaos C: Catastrophe D: Cosmo memory

You have no lifelines left.

Cloud: Ummmm, what was the question?
Is the answer Potion? What lifelines have i got?

THREE HOURS LATER

Cloud: Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh…
Cid: *bangs head on table and swears*
Vincent: I think i lost my pants.
Red xii: The three stooges live.

Aeris: Aeris killing my lungs. (Get it. Air is Aeris)

Tifa: Want some Tea fu—-c$#% (F word)

Barret: Bare with it Marlene no more cartoons. (Bare—it Barret)

Yuffie: You are defeated….i’m so sorry. (You—Fea Yuffie)

———————–
I ran out of ideas.
————————-

Vincent: La la la la la, i like doing laundry. *Mixes White and Red clothes including his cape*

*20 minutes later*

Vincent: I feel like a pretty school girl laaaa la laaaa la la. *His cape tuned Pink.*

——————–
umm…….
——————–

Aeris: Life is boring……

———————————————–
My mind turned into goo ahhhhh!!!
———————————————–

Originally posted by Master Nabeshin
Aerith: *standing naked in front of Cloud* Well, Cloud, what do you think?
Tifa: *also standing naked in front of Cloud* Yeah, Cloud, what do you think? Aren’t I better than Aerith?
Aerith: Cloud, you know I’m the best!
Cloud: *sitting on his couch, not expecting this* Uhhhh…….*head tilts sideways*
Tifa and Aerith together: No, you can’t have us both!
Cloud:*gasps. Blots up from his seat and pushes past Aerith and Tifa* Ooooo! ooooo… *hugs the TV, which is playing an Ad for a motorcycle/hairspray/cellphone combo package* Mmmmmmmm…. *very happy sound

I like this one LMPAO

Tifa: Okay, let me try on your flower hair accesory!?

Tifa and Aerith together: Sure!

Tifa: It looks cute on me!

Aerith: Your hair tye looks cute on me!

Yuffie: HEY Cid! Lemme try on your goggles!!

Cid: Huh!? What the $u##? Sure, only if you let me try your ninja headband!

Cid and Yuffie together: FINE!

Yuffie: HEY!! These goggles are SUPER COOL on me!!

Cid: Your heandband looks so f**&ing better on me!!

Cloud: Hey Vincent, let me try your headband and cape on!!

Vincent: Eh? Sure.

Cloud: I look sexy in them!!

Vincent: Yes you do! I look sexier showing more of my face!

Cait Sith: Red XIII, could I try your headdress on?

Red XIII: Sure, only if I could try your crown!

Red XIII and Cait Sith together: Let’s switch!

Red XIII: I like the crown better on ME!!

Cait Sith: And I like the headdress better on ME!!

Red and Cait togther again: Well trade and never give them BACK!

Sorry if those were alittle boring…. just got real bored.

Tifa: Okay, let me try on your flower hair accesory!?

Tifa and Aerith together: Sure!

Tifa: It looks cute on me!

Aerith: Your hair tye looks cute on me!

Yuffie: HEY Cid! Lemme try on your goggles!!

Cid: Huh!? What the $u##? Sure, only if you let me try your ninja headband!

Cid and Yuffie together: FINE!

Yuffie: HEY!! These goggles are SUPER COOL on me!!

Cid: Your heandband looks so f**&ing better on me!!

Cloud: Hey Vincent, let me try your headband and cape on!!

Vincent: Eh? Sure.

Cloud: I look sexy in them!!

Vincent: Yes you do! I look sexier showing more of my face!

Cait Sith: Red XIII, could I try your headdress on?

Red XIII: Sure, only if I could try your crown!

Red XIII and Cait Sith together: Let’s switch!

Red XIII: I like the crown better on ME!!

Cait Sith: And I like the headdress better on ME!!

Red and Cait togther again: Well trade and never give them BACK!

Sorry if those were alittle boring…. just got real bored.

Are you kidding they’re pretty funny! lol I just don’t understand how Red XIII has a headdress….what is a headdress?

Are you kidding they’re pretty funny! lol I just don’t understand how Red XIII has a headdress….what is a headdress?

Why Thank You :)! Red XIII’s headdress, that’s the name of his weapon on his head.

Cloud walks up to Vincent, hanging upside down…
Cloud: Hey, Vincent….
Vincent: There is no Vincent- only Zuul.
Cloud: Riiiiight..well, do you know where I can find Vincent?
Vincent:Uuuuhhhhhh… hold on. Vincent, you’ve got a call on line one.
Cloud: Vincent?
Vincent: *falls to the floor and assumes the fetal posistion* He’s not here.
Cloud: Well, where is Vincent?
Vincent: I’m in my dark place…
Cloud: Okay, bring back Zuul, and tell him that there’s a pizza boy from hell at the door for him.
Okay, I know that was gay…the next one’s even worse.

*Tifa, Aerith, and Yuffie walk into their hotel room..*
Aerith: Hey… I’ve got a question.
Tifa: Yeah?
Aerith: How come every time we stay at a hotel, the guys get us a nice, spacious room for us…
Tifa: You’d rather sleep in a cramped room?
Aerith: Yet there’s only one bed-
Yuffie: A very nice bed, I might add.
Aerith:The pillows are all shaped like hearts, and the lighting is always dimmed…
Tifa: I think it’s very cozy. Nice and comfortable.
Aerith: And the shower isn’t closed off to the rest of the room.
Tifa: Well, it makes it easier for Yuffie to hide stolen materia from us. And it’s not like we have anything to hide..
Aerith: And the the questionable items and lubricants in the drawers.
Yuffie: Good to steal and re-sell.
Aerith: And the fact that there’s nothing on TV but, well.. you know…
Tifa: Not like we watch TV.
Aerith: The switch that makes everything vibrate?
Tifa: Good massage.
Aerith: What about the little cameras in the walls?
Tifa: Oh, those are just fire sprinklers!
Aerith: The sign on the wall that declares that clothing is restricted here?
*Yuffie and Tifa are struck silent*
*in the next room over*
Cloud: *in sequened vest* Boy, is it stifling in here, boys! Looks like this hotel’s "Love Special" is just another dud.

Cloud: Let’s pretend to be the cast! I’ll be, Matty!
Zack: I’ll be Kyle!
Aerith: I call Ana Ross!
Tifa: Call me Francessca Curtis!
Barret: I’ll go with Desmonde Rhodes!
Vincent: I guess what’s left, is that stoner dude. Roy.

Cid:Wait! I forgot his name, I’ll be Kyle’s older brother.

Cait Sith and RedXIII:Guys, get a life! That was the lamest movie ever.

Maybee, these are okay. I know alot of people hated that movie though. I’m the only one who really liked it.

Barret: Uh I don’t know what time is, it?

Red XIII: It’s Bonk *Bonks Barret in head* Time.

————————————————————
As you can see I got my idea from a cartoon
————————————————————

Cloud : Im straight!

Cid: please do not swear, i find it rather offensive, thanks old chap.

Barret: Cloud you are the best leader in the world.

Vincent: *Night fever night feverrrrrrr, you know how to do it*

Yuffie: I found 20 quid on the floor yesterday and i was a good girl and turned it in to lost property.

Cait sith: "???*???* "%^ ( cant thik of anything :/ )

Aeris: Ooh Sephy *Moves her body closer to him* Your so fine.

Cloud: What?!

Sephiroth: You too baby *Throws the FAKE sword away and kisses her*

Cloud: NOOOOOOOO

Aeris: Yes Cloud me and Sephiroth are getting married!

Tifa: So does that mean cloud is mine?

Aeris:hmm… *Impales Cloud and Tifa with her staff* yes, in hell!

*Aeris jumps on Sephy*

Aeris: Let’s go my evvvvvil finance.

Ok i know Cloud/Aeris fans will not like this joke. Then again both Cloud/Tifa and Cloud/Aeris fans will not like this. Sorry but my mind kinda drifted off and i had nothing left up my sleeve

Narrator: In the highwind Cloud and Red were watching cartoons and Barret was about to ask them a question in a cute widdle voice.

Barret: Clwoud….are you horny?

Cloud: No…why did you ask?

*Cloud murmering*: I might be after that one night.

Barret: Rwed XIII are you horny?

Red XIII: *In a slick voice* m…aybe.

*Red XIII’s paw touches Cloud’s hand Red starts purring and Cloud then turns his head slowly and Red XIII also turns his head. Then Cloud looks at Red XIII’s googly eyes and RedXIII licks his lips.

Cloud: Uh Oh…..

That was Killermoggles! /em claps
Here’s mine

Cloud: Why is my name Cloud? Shouldn’t it be Charlie Brown?

Here’s another

Red is standing on his hind legs with a dj hat,

Red: Yo people this is a rap for my hunny bunny Yuffie!!!

Yuffie: Aww…..

Whaaaaat? I think this thread is cool! It’s so funny! Stop being too serious buddy. Have fun and let the kid in you flow out! I still think you’re cool Prak!

Tifa: I need a shorter skirt!

Cloud: No, you need a longer skirt(Cloud would never say that cause he loves her).

Aerith: DIE YOU STUPID MONSTER!!!! DIE!!!

Barret: I love Shinra! I wanna marry him!

Yuffie: I’m never leaving Wutai again! I’m gonna settle down and have a nice warm hearting job at the weapon store. I quit Materia hunting!

Sephiroth: I don’t need to summon meteor! I can forgive everyone for taking the planet back from the ancients! They didn’t mean any harm! I love too be your friend Zack and Cloud! Respect my brotha’s!

Zack: Aerith’s the only girl for me! I’ll never find another!

Red XIII: I wanna stay home and be a coward!!

Cait Sith: Screw Gold Saucer! I don’t need to gamble with my life!

Vincent: Light is good! Light is my friend!! Darkness BAD!! Darkness my ENEMY!!

Red XIII: I wanna stay home and be a coward!!

Vincent: Light is good! Light is my friend!! Darkness BAD!! Darkness my ENEMY!!

ROFL

On Aeris’s day:
Aeris: Hmm…this boutique will be so great. I wonder if Marlene will be able to catch it. *giggles* Me and Cloud are getting married. YaY!

On Yuffie’s day:
Yuffie: Fun at the beach with my best buddy!! YaY!

The Day of the Wedding:

Tifa: What! I’m marrying Barret! This has gotta be a mistake.
Barret: Sorry, Tifa. The man lost and now your my new wife. He he he.

Aeris: What! What happen to Cloud! Vincent! You’re the one I’m marrying…..
Vincent: Don’t ask. Cloud lost.
Aeris: (sigh)This just too weird.
Vincent: You tell me. I thought he would had settle for you.

Same time of wedding….@ the beach

Yuffie: What! Cloud. Why are you here, I thought you have a wedding to go to?
Cloud (moaning): First Barret, then Vincent and now all my money. Man! I should had never bet trying to defeat Sephiroth again.
Yuffie: YOU LOST!!! OMG!!!! How!!
Cloud: Do I need to explain. His hair got in my way and blinded me. He knock me out cold. (hands clutching his head and shaking) If I won, I get to pick who be my wife. If I lose, one of the guys take them.
Yuffie: (sigh) How sad.

Sephiroth: *walking into a room* All right, now all of you are gonna die!…huh. There’s nobody here. hm.. I’m bored now. *stabs self with sword* OW! Is that what I’ve been doing to people all this time? Wow. I think I’m gonna go home and rethink my life.

Vincent: Don’t drop the soap!*winks*

Aerith: *in prison with Tifa**To self* Drop the soap, drop the soap, drop the soap…

Cid: Damn you, Sky Captain!!!

Zack: Okay Cloud. Since I’m gonna die, I want you to live my life for me.
Cloud: Okay..
Zack: First, you need to start by taking my pants!
Cloud:…
Zack: Take them, damn you!
Cloud: Fine, whatever.
Zack: Now, you need my sword. Take that.
Cloud: Alright.
Zack: Now, you’re going to be a mercenary. You have two methods of pay: either charge ridiculous amounts of gil, or demand physical services.
Cloud:…right….
Zack: Pay attention! Now, I have a girlfriend in Midgar. Very beautiful. I’m sure you two will go well together. I want to to take care of her. Cherish her and keep her for your own.
Cloud: I’m starting to see the benfits here.
Zack: No sex.
Cloud: I’m sorry?
Zack: No sex, Cloud!
Cloud: *forcing Zacks eyelids shut* Oh, woe is me! My dearest, closest friend and comrade who has been close to me through good times and bad times.. is dead..
Zack: I’m going to take you with me!
Cloud: Is gone forever…before he could make one last request concerning a beautiful woman..
Zack: I’m going to haunt you, Cloud!
Cloud: I can still hear his voice on the wind..I shall honor his wishes and consumate love with his girlfriend for him. *walks away*
Zack: Dammit!

Zack: Okay Cloud. Since I’m gonna die, I want you to live my life for me.
Cloud: Okay..
Zack: First, you need to start by taking my pants!
Cloud:…
Zack: Take them, damn you!
Cloud: Fine, whatever.
Zack: Now, you need my sword. Take that.
Cloud: Alright.
Zack: Now, you’re going to be a mercenary. You have two methods of pay: either charge ridiculous amounts of gil, or demand physical services.
Cloud:…right….
Zack: Pay attention! Now, I have a girlfriend in Midgar. Very beautiful. I’m sure you two will go well together. I want to to take care of her. Cherish her and keep her for your own.
Cloud: I’m starting to see the benfits here.
Zack: No sex.
Cloud: I’m sorry?
Zack: No sex, Cloud!
Cloud: *forcing Zacks eyelids shut* Oh, woe is me! My dearest, closest friend and comrade who has been close to me through good times and bad times.. is dead..
Zack: I’m going to take you with me!
Cloud: Is gone forever…before he could make one last request concerning a beautiful woman..
Zack: I’m going to haunt you, Cloud!
Cloud: I can still hear his voice on the wind..I shall honor his wishes and consumate love with his girlfriend for him. *walks away*
Zack: Dammit!

OMG This is heck of funny! lol

Aeris: Ooh Sephy *Moves her body closer to him* Your so fine.

Cloud: What?!

Sephiroth: You too baby *Throws the FAKE sword away and kisses her*

Cloud: NOOOOOOOO

Aeris: Yes Cloud me and Sephiroth are getting married!

Tifa: So does that mean cloud is mine?

Aeris:hmm… *Impales Cloud and Tifa with her staff* yes, in hell!

*Aeris jumps on Sephy*

Aeris: Let’s go my evvvvvil finance.

Ok i know Cloud/Aeris fans will not like this joke. Then again both Cloud/Tifa and Cloud/Aeris fans will not like this. Sorry but my mind kinda drifted off and i had nothing left up my sleeve
That was odd!!

Barret: Eat your cheese sandwich!

Vincent: CUURSE! CURRSE!!! MAKE!!!! CURRRSE!!!!

Rufus: *performing a speech* Now, before I begin tonight, I’d like to discuss with you all the serious subject of schizophrenia. No he doesn’t! Shut up, let him talk! Ha ha.. just kidding. No he’s not!…uh-oh.

Barret:NO PLEASE DON’T!! I won’t call you spikey headed ass anymore, PLEASE!!!???

Aerith:I’m going to dye my hair silver! Then I’m going shopping to get an outfit like Sephiroth’s!

Aerith:*whisper*this is fun crossdressing has Sephiroth! Tee Hee!*whisper*

Tifa: Yuffie, do you wanna go to bed with me?

Yuffie:Wow would I!

Sorry if these were stupid. Wanted to keep this thread going.

CLoud, Barret and Cid: (dancing) Hey Macarena!

Waitwaitwaitwaitwait, I gatta good one.

Cloud: (completly helpless and cornered by Sephy)
Sephiroth: Prepare to die Cloud….(a beeping noise is heard coming from his pocket)
Dammit! Now what?! (pulls out car keys from pocket) Aaaaw, my poor
widdle Tomagachi Pet is hungry-wungry. (pushes a few buttons.) There
you go widdle fella, you cute widdle thing you. (puts it back) where was I?

Jenova: aw, thanks cloud, your such a cutiepie *eye falls out*

Yay! Sorry to any Jehova’s Witnesses out there, but DON’T KNOCK ON MY DOOR EARLY SATURDAY MORNING!!!!

CLoud, Barret and Cid: (dancing) Hey Macarena!

Waitwaitwaitwaitwait, I gatta good one.

Cloud: (completly helpless and cornered by Sephy)
Sephiroth: Prepare to die Cloud….(a beeping noise is heard coming from his pocket)
Dammit! Now what?! (pulls out car keys from pocket) Aaaaw, my poor
widdle Tomagachi Pet is hungry-wungry. (pushes a few buttons.) There
you go widdle fella, you cute widdle thing you. (puts it back) where was I?
Im a girl. And thanks fot the compliment…..yours was cool! i laughed so much!

All sat around having a picnic,
Barret- last one to call out has to sit on grass!
All except cloud who is sat on floor with headphones on- Turn around, touch da ground bagsy not it!
Everyone-ha ha yo have to sit on floor!
cloud- aaaw no fair!!! id ont want to sit on the grass*sniff* its not fair!!!*sniff*
all- aaw look at him cry!
cloud-i get hayfever*sniff* dont diss*sniff*
cid- yeah and im the easter bunny!
cloud- you guys are so…soo…..*sniff*…cruel!!!! WAAAAAAAAAAA *runs off*

Hello, i am new to ff shrine anyway, i think youll enjoy this

aeris:cl,cloud?are you awake?

cloud:yeah what?!?!{drinks from shasta bottle}

aeris:cl,cloud, im a shemale……

cloud:??????{passes out and explodes for no apparent reason}

Barret:DAAAAMN!!!!{in stereo type black voice}

Tifa: its okay, im one to!!he he he!…

cloud explodes again.

Welcome newbie! Yours cracked me up LMAO :laugh: !

Cloud:I wanna buy me a teddy bear!

Tifa:You’re too old! But I’ll buy you one for Christmas or your next birthday anyway hon! *kisses her spouse on cheeck*. YOU’RE STILL TOO OLD DAMN IT!

Barret: I don’t want my gun arm anymore! I’m CUTTING IT OFF!

Aerith: Barret sweetie don’t you’ll hurt yourself! Go to a doctor and get surgery if you want a fake hand back, and I’ll heal you with Great Gospel the second you wake up!

Aerith and Barret come to a french kiss.

Vincent:Cid, will you marry me?

Cid: Fuck I’d love too! Let’s get freaky tonight Vincent!

Yuffie: WHY OH WHY DID WE HAVE TO KILL SEPHIROTH!!

*get’s down on her bedroom floor stomping and crying like a big baby*

HE WAS SUCH A DREAMOAT!! I wanted to make love to him! Whhaaaahh!

I didn’t write that. A friend requested it. Really. It wasn’t me.

Aeris: y the @$^* don’t u that damn cigarette out of your mouth
Cid:but its so tasty
Cloud:i cant breathe
Tifa:dont worry i’ll do mouth to moputh
Cloud:oh god no HELP!

Yuffie: mmmm…..mmmm…..
Cid: mmmm…..mmmm…..
Red XIII: mmmm…..mmmm…..
Cloud: mmm baby mmm baby…

(I got a little rusty)

Aerith:At BK you got!

Sephiroth: This "becoming god" thing just isn’t all it’s cracked up to be… no… I think my true calling is..Chinese Food Delivery.

Tifa:"He’s irrisistable up close and personal!"

Cloud:"I’m a genie in a bottle! You gotta rub me the right way!"

Aerith:"Oops! I did it again!"

Sephiroth:"It’s tearing up my heart when I’m with you!! And when we are apart I feel it too!! And no matter what I do, I feel the pain!! With or without you!"

Yuffie:"I’m craving for you! I’m missing you like candy!"

Barret & RedXIII:"Shut up you five! Meh, let’s just get ear plugs and smoke some cigarette’s!

You ripped me off… 🙁

Tifa: C’mon, Cloud! We have to go save the world!
Cloud: Wait, just a few more minutes!!! I’m about to defeat sin! Spira will be saved!

Sora: Have you seen the keyhole?
Sephiroth: WTF?! *vaporizes Sora, Goofy, and Donald*

Cloud: Hey, there’s gonna be a special Square VS. Enix episode of MXC! Let’s go!
Hey, that would actually be pretty funny…

Hehehe

Yuffie:I love you

cmon we all know Yuffie is well…different.

Yuffie:I love you

cmon we all know Yuffie is well…different.

yuffie: "and I wouldn’t dream of stealing your materia."

Sephiroth: I lost my super mega ultra super duper hold hair gel and now I look like a nerd *pimples pop up on face* NOOOOOOOO!!!!

Yuffie: Materia….destroy materia *hits Comet materia and blows herself up*

Vincent: It is like the moon and the sun mixed with the atmospheric stuff around the Mercury in my temperature thingamabob. *Everyone stares at him* WHAT!!!

Bugenhagen: I am floating! See. I am floating on top of Mt. Everest! Weeeee…AAAAAAAHHHHHHH! *falls all the way down* *CRAAAACK* "My back"

Red XIII: *cleaning tail* "lick lick lick" *burns tongue* OWWWWWWWWWWWWW!

Cid: My cigarette is candy

Cait Sith: What am I? Who am I?

You gave me an idea;

Cloud: Yes Jesus loves me! Yes Jesus loves me! Yes Jesus loves me!

Vincent:Kumbiea my lord! Kumbiea! Kumbiea my lord! Kumbiea!

Hmmm….I could actually see Yuffie saying that if her dark sides came out of her. Maybee if Shinra or Sephiroth do that in words like what happens in alot of stories with villians; villians making the heros turn to villians that way.

ok i know its stupid but i hada post it it was buggin me =P

Cloud: *waking up in the ocean* Uhhh…where am I? *a blitzball hits him in the face*
Wakka: Heeeey! You okay, man? *throws another blitzball at his head*
Cloud: …I dunno. How you feelin’? *casts comet on Wakka*
Wakka: Wow, that’s a good blitzball move, ya?
Cloud:….No. Nevermind. Is there a town nearby?
Wakka: Yeah, Besaid island isn’t very big.
Cloud: Besaid?! If I’m here, then where’s Tidus..?
Elsewhere…
Aerith: Aww, you’re so cute and stupid! I think I’ll name you bitch, because you’re my bitch now! *hugs his head*
Tidus: Hey, if you want an autograph..
Barret: Th’ foo’s here five minutes now, and he thinks he’s all that!
Vincent: I say we kill him!
All: Yeah, let’s kill him!
Aerith: Wait! Let me finish first!
All: Finish, then we’ll kill him!
Aerith: *exceedingly lecherously* He he…
Tidus: *whimper*

You gave me an idea;

Cloud: Yes Jesus loves me! Yes Jesus loves me! Yes Jesus loves me!

Vincent:Kumbiea my lord! Kumbiea! Kumbiea my lord! Kumbiea!

lol u hav given me an idea

cloud n every1 else r looking for septhiroth in the north crater….on there way down they see an out line of a man as they get closer it turns out to be sephiroth they r all ready to fight septhiroth…sephiroth replys…i come in peace starts telling cloud and the others about ‘how he saw god’ placed a flower behind clouds ears…then as there walking off he ses ‘o tifa by the way im sorry i cut u…but i realy love u. tifa replys by saying ‘oh sephiroth i love u 2 do u wana go behind that corner and get it on’….’sounds good to me!!:D

its a bit poo but just the fort of tifa naked…..ooooooh incase u didnt notice…i love tifa!!

Cid: (stands) "My name is Cid Highwind. And I am an alcoholic."
Sephiroth clones in black capes: "Hellooo…..C-Cid…"
Cloud: (stands) "My name is Cloud Strife. And I am a Homosexual."
Cid: "Wrong building, Cloud."

ive only just read it and that one made me laugh

i just had to write it:p

Cloud: Say…I think we took a wrong turn… this is a mansion, but it’s not ShinRa mansion…and there are a helluva lot of stuffed animals…hey, where’s Marlene?
Distant voice: I love ALL the children….
Barret: Oh hell no!

Sephiroth: "Him and I are gay together." *gesturse his masamune in Cloud’s direction, talking to Tifa*

Nice one!

Hello, i am new to ff shrine anyway, i think youll enjoy this

Hello, i am new to ff shrine anyway, i think youll enjoy this

aeris:cl,cloud?are you awake?

cloud:yeah what?!?!{drinks from shasta bottle}

aeris:cl,cloud, im a shemale……

cloud:??????{passes out and explodes for no apparent reason}

Barret:DAAAAMN!!!!{in stereo type black voice}

Tifa: its okay, im one to!!he he he!…

cloud explodes again.

LOL! Very good!!

Cid:Pooping is fun!

LOLOLOL!!

Cloud: *to Aerith* Oh, you got SERVED!

Barret: Eat your cheese sandwich!

Vincent: CUURSE! CURRSE!!! MAKE!!!! CURRRSE!!!!

Rufus: *performing a speech* Now, before I begin tonight, I’d like to discuss with you all the serious subject of schizophrenia. No he doesn’t! Shut up, let him talk! Ha ha.. just kidding. No he’s not!…uh-oh.

Very funny!!

Man, these are REALLY good. Keep posting!

Barret:*Cries* I never got the chance to tell him I loved him
Red XIII:there,there I’m sure he knew
Barret:BUT NOT THAT I WAS IN LOVE WITH HIM *CRIES*

P.S. Starlitdragon check your pm.

Red XIII:Your my best friend in the world
Rufus Shinra:STOP HUMPING MY LEG ALREADY!!!!

Aeris:Tifa your so plastic.
Tifa:Shut up bitch
Aeris:Bimbo
Tifa:Cloud needs a real woman
Aeris:*stabs tifas breasts with a pin*
*They both explode*

Cid: I think I’m going to quit smoking, I’m concerned about the lung cancer and all…

(ok in know that was just stupid kill me now!)

It’s a funny, entertaining one, n00b.

…Lol…

*on roller coaster*
Cid:Wooohoooo
Cloud:HOLY SH…BLEH!!! *throws up*

Aeris: Lets bust this joint ( walks up to bar) Gimme something hard buffon before i ram my staff up your arse

Cloud: I hate spikey hair ( proceeds to throw all his hair gel out of the window and grows a mullet)

Sephiroth: Black is sooo last years colour

Red 13: I love hojo really

Cid: ( as rocket blasts off) Is this a bad time to mention i suffer from vertigo?

Cait Sith: Fuck Shinra, they’re a bunch of Back stabbing bastards

Yuffie: Free Materia, All materia on this stall is free

Vincent: Sod this coffin for a lark, i’m off to Comet to buy a bed!

Rufus: Cease Mako production immediately

President Shinra: Sod the Promised land, im off to Gold Saucer

Dios: Is my skin too shiney

Tifa: Violence solves nothing, say it with flowers

Jenova: Bugger this planet for a laugh

Bugenhagen: Group sex, Group sex

I’ll try and think up some more

((Ok that was corny but my head hurts right now))

Tifa: Hula hula hula.
Aeris: Huzza huzza huzza
Yuffie: Love ya love ya love ya

*Tifa and Aeris gives her a look*

Yuffie: Can’t a les get some love?

(You can tell im new -.-)

AHAHAHAHHAA!

Tifa:Hey Aerith, are you on drugs?

Cloud:Let’s leave.

I got bored.

Well, that was kinda dumb..

Barrett: "Cloud… how did you get your hair so spikey?"
Cloud: "Ohh! I used the latest in hair products."
Barrett: "Can I try some?"
Cloud: "Sure."

*Cloud hands Barrett the hair product*

Barrett: "Mmm… it tastes as good as your hair smells!"
Cloud: *eep*
Aerith: "Has anyone seen my blonde bleach anywhere?"

O.o there

Quoted by Masta Nabeshin
Zack: Okay Cloud. Since I’m gonna die, I want you to live my life for me.
Cloud: Okay..
Zack: First, you need to start by taking my pants!
Cloud:…
Zack: Take them, damn you!
Cloud: Fine, whatever.
Zack: Now, you need my sword. Take that.
Cloud: Alright.
Zack: Now, you’re going to be a mercenary. You have two methods of pay: either charge ridiculous amounts of gil, or demand physical services.
Cloud:…right….
Zack: Pay attention! Now, I have a girlfriend in Midgar. Very beautiful. I’m sure you two will go well together. I want to to take care of her. Cherish her and keep her for your own.
Cloud: I’m starting to see the benfits here.
Zack: No sex.
Cloud: I’m sorry?
Zack: No sex, Cloud!
Cloud: *forcing Zacks eyelids shut* Oh, woe is me! My dearest, closest friend and comrade who has been close to me through good times and bad times.. is dead..
Zack: I’m going to take you with me!
Cloud: Is gone forever…before he could make one last request concerning a beautiful woman..
Zack: I’m going to haunt you, Cloud!
Cloud: I can still hear his voice on the wind..I shall honor his wishes and consumate love with his girlfriend for him. *walks away*
Zack: Dammit!

WOW HAHAHAHHAHAHAHA Man that was GREAT

Thats my first try.

AAAAAAAAAAAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAAAAA(dies from laughter, comes back to life) AHAHAHHAHAAAAA!
That was dirty. I loved it. Hahhaha.

Man in Black Cape: Do I look like I’m on crack?

Thats my first try.

That was beautiful CLoud. You definatly saved the best4 last. 😉

*Cloud hears footsteps coming near to him. He rolls over in his bed (Nibelheim), to see Vincent standing on the other side.*
Cloud: "Vincent?"
*Vince nods*
Vincent: "I can’t sleep."
Cloud: "Why not?"
Vincent: "I’m afraid of the dark."
Cloud: "Do you want to sleep with me?"
*Vincent nods again.*

It’s not how it sounds! Think of it as little kid who can’t sleep and wants to sleep in the bed with mommy.

This is my first shot. Please be nice.

Here’s my second shot:

*Reno steps out of the shower and wraps a towel around him. He exits and head right to his dresser where he keeps his goggles. They aren’t there. He rampages*

Reno: "No. NO! I can’t find them! Where are they? Wahh!"
*Rude enters smiling*
Rude: "What’s wrong?"
Reno: "I can’t find my goggles! WAHH!"
*Rude bursts into a laughing fit. Reno screams furiously*
Reno: "What’s so funny?"
*Rude points to his friend*
Rude: "They’re on you head…"
*Reno’s eyes widen as he feels them around his temple.*
Reno: "I knew that!…."

Attempt #3:

*The party enters Wall Market and go into the bar. They take a seat at the back counter and order thier drinks. Cait Sith is plastered, and making really obnoxios remarks.
Cait Sith: "And then, just in the nick of time, POW! Bye bye Tseng! Woo-HOO! I was so tired of working for that man, even though he did treat me really well. You know that Shinra aren’t that bad. They just want world domination and the Promised land, and kill Aer…."
*Barret, attempting to fix his gun arm, sets it off, and the bullet lands in the mouth of Cait Sith, and he chokes, and dies.*
Barret: "Well, that’s one way to shut him up."

Tseng: "How does my hair look?"
Rude: "Like it needs to be cut."

Tseng: MY HAIR! Look how long Reno’s is!!!
Rude: But he’s sexy, thats his excuse.
All: ….?!
RUde:…what?! He is!

Elena: "Hey Reno, what are you doing later?"
Reno: "I have a previous engagment."
Elena: "Oh really? Who’s the lucky lady?"
*knocks on the door*
Elena: "I’ll get it!" *Answers door.* "Rude? What are you doing here? Who’s the rose for?"
Rude: "….."
Reno: "Hey! You ready?"
Rude: "Yeah."
*Reno and Rude leave*
Elena: "…..what the …."

Tifa: "Cloud?" *He looks up* "What are you sitting out here for?"
Cloud: "I’m waiting for someone…"
Tifa: "Oh? Who?"
*Elena pulls up in a car*
Elena: "Cloud, Reno says it’s over. He’s found someone else." *She drives off. Tifa stares at Cloud in shock.*
Cloud: "Well, looks like my night is free. So, what are you doing tonight?"

I was going to go somewere with Reno but….Hm. I wonder who the lucky girl is.

(meanwhile)……

Reno: "Thanks for taking me out Rude."
Rude: "It was my pleasure, in more ways than one."
Reno: "You’re so hott."
Rude: "…Thanks."
Reno: "But you’re not hotter than me."

Rude: Blow off, Preps!
ST and OF: Bring him up and we will!

Reno: Hey Rude, lets go up?
Rude: You’re not serious?
Reno: I’m dead serious.
ST and OF: Woo-hoo! Two for one!

ST and OF: (look at rude) NO NOT HIM!

Rude: "How…rude!"
Reno: "What can I say, the ladies love me."
Rude: *under his breath* "So did I ’til 5 minutes ago…"

moogle: tell me about it, you have to deal with big but jockeys and i have to eat kupo nuts and bounce around!

chocobo: wanna grab a beer?

Or

Aeris nodds* Ok i’ll see what i can do."
Aeris tries to contact ancients*
"DooWEE Doo~ sorry the number you recently dialed is not in service or is the worng number, please hang up and try again.

*During Reno’s fight scene in Advent Children*
Reno: "H-Hey! You broke my goggles!!" *cries*

*Cloud walks in to Tifa’s house*

Cloud:Hey
Tifa: Hey…
Cloud: Hey…..ok, so how are you doing?
Tifa: I’m drunk….hey.
Cloud: How much beer did you have now?
Tifa: 35 shots, 22 glasses, and 14 cans
Cloud:Idiot
Tifa:What did you call me *puts on Tiger Fang gloves*
Cloud:Ermm….idiot.
Tifa:Grrrrr…I’m dumping you!
Cloud: You’re an angry idiot!
Tifa: GRRRRR…..*Throws Knights of the Round materia at Cloud, hits him on head*
Cloud: Owww, you idiot…whoops.*Knights of the Round knocks Cloud out the door.*
Tifa:And stay out….IDIOT!

Yuffie runs over and scares Cloud.

Yuffie:Heya, what’s up, whatca got there huh huh huh?
Cloud: OOOOOKKKKKK??
Yuffie:*takes KOTR materia* ooohhhh, rock. *accidentally suumons it*
Cloud:You idiot!!!!…wow, reminds me of Tifa..
Both Cloud and Yuffie practically commit suicide, but Cloud lives.

*Aeris pops out of nowhere*
Aeris: Hello
Cloud:Hi,wait, who are you.
Aeris:It’s me, Aeris
Cloud: You’re dead.
Aeris:I know
Cloud:K?
Aeris:Want a flower…a ghost flower.
Cloud:No, not really.
Aeris:WHAT!!!!*takes out non-ghost staff, beats Cloud to death*.
Aeris: Ahhhhh, all taken care of.

Almost a comedy fanfic.

Cloud: Aerith, we are so close to the Temple of the Ancients..why are you acting so tense?

Aerith: Shove it, purple! My dealer bet my stash and lost it all at the chocobo races! How the hell am I supposed to get by on this?

*pulls "holy" off her hair*

Cloud: What is that?

Aerith: What does is look like, sparky? You think this was materia? I swear, if I don’t get my fix i’m going to shove this magic rod here up all of your asses! one by one! SLOWLY!!!

*Tifa runs up after hearing the argument*

Tifa: Look, Aerith I know what you’re going through…

Aerith: Yeah right! Here, ya floozy..

*throws gil at tifa*

Aerith: the next boob job’s on me! And lay off my man, the only thing your gonna get outta purple here is sloppy seconds, sister!

Tifa: Ha! I beat you to it. Last night. Me. Cloud. The Tiny Bronco.

Cid: What? uuughnnn….

Aerith: Pshh…yesterday morning. Same place!

Cid: Ewwwww! I am so disinfecting the whole thing.

Aerith: Oh, one more thing..I took a little test today…Cloud is MY baby daddy! Or..

Cloud: Or?

Tifa: You total slut.

Aerith: Well, there was Barret 2 hours ago, in the Tiny Bronco..

Cid: (in the distance) Good merciful god in heaven…

Aerith: And Rufus three weeks ago, Cait Sith..

Tifa: Woah! Is that even possible?

Aerith: Rude, Reno and Elena, together…half of Sector 5 slums and…ummm…OH Corneo and Dio…also together.

Tifa: you’re a complete dirty whore.

Aerith: Yeah well, I still haven’t told you guys about Red….

Anywho…

*Barret is sitting downstairs in 7th Heaven waiting for Cloud. He starts singing "I Feel Like A Woman" by Shania Twain. Cloud walks in.
Cloud: And you make fun of me for wearing a dress? I say this is far worse.

Okay, not as funny as some of my others, but I tried.

and about mine, that was the point! She would never say or do those things, but I guess my mind is a little bit warped, lol

Cid ponders for a couple seconds: Throw in those shoes and you got a deal.

aeris: "iam going to accualy help this battle"

"La la la…"

Cloud shows up, confused.

"oh don’t worry, Cloud. I have discovered the true way of peace and harmony. Join me!!!! And become one with the Unicorn!!"

Aeris:…..guys u better not be fucking back there or im gonna come back and beat u to bloody pulps with my cock

Cloud and barret: :confused: 😯

Aeris: HERE I COME BOYS!

*serious* sorry, been talkin bout the series a lot, got words mixed

Coversation between Jenova & Sephiroth befroe Cloud arrives at North Cave

Sephiroth: Now should I wear cotton instead of leather?
Jenova: No, I think the leather is a much slimmer look.
Sephiroth: True, but I wanna…….ya know…….be comfortable in some places. I mean I got this kinda rugburn from the leather and all the movement. It’s just not a comfortable situation for me. I men I have to look good when I destroy people and gain absolute power.
Jenova: eh, go with the cotton.

before*, mean*

Aeris: I think Sephiroth is right *aims loaded Uzi at cloud and others*

Sephiroth: I love you Cloud!!!!

A leaf flies by.

Sephiroth, "Aaah, stay away from my baby, you infidel", *slices leaf up*

Sephiroth sees Cloud

Sephiroth, "I would hurt you, but my sword would get dirty..oh well, the hell with it, your ass is grass"

Cloud: "Ugh, time to get the lawnmower again"

Cloud’s standing in front of a mirror thinking,

"Well…I do feel kinda pretty…all silky and stuff…heh..heh…silky…."

Marlene To Barret
Marlene: Dude, your totally freakin guy *slaps him on the ass & runs away*

Then again when you think bout it, how do we know that wut we put on here would never be said by the characters. Especially Marlene.

True.

But here’s something Sephy would never say:

Sephiroth: "Oops! Sorry, Cloud! I almost hit you with my mean old sword! BAD SWORD! BAD SWORD!" *Throws sword in a pit of boiling hot lava*

sux i know

Aeris: ooh, strip poker, let me join!!!!

or

at aeris dead scene:
tifa: awww man…nooo!!
everyone looks at her surprised:
tifa: whats it? i just don’t like that #@$% music!

Aeris’ Death Scene

Sephiroth comes down with his sword adn misses and falls in the water

Aeris: "….OH MY are you ok?"

Sephiroth" "yes im ok i slipped and fell to early and missed you completly."

Aeris: "Ok go up and try again"

Sephiroth trys 5 more times each time he either forgets his sword or lands on his head and on the final time he falls flat on his face.

Aeris: "You F&*%ing idiot how hard is it to take a sword and jump and impale me through the stomach"

Sephiroth: *crying and sobbing* "Im sorry i just cant aim WAAAHHH!!’

Aeris: "You stupid worthless A*&%$#@ look you do it like this *picks up sword and stabs herself* see now is that too hard *turns around and cuts cloud in half who is behind her then looks down and says in cartman voice "son of a Bitch!"

Hojo: All these years and nobody realises I’m a dunce at science

Aeris: Buggerit! Why do I have to die?! *Grabs Yuffie* Kill her instead, shes the bl**dy thief!

Aeris’ Death scene

Sephiroth comes down and right before he hits Aeris she sticks a fist up in the air and hits him in the nuts.

Sephiroth: *in high pitched voice* "MOMMY!?!?"

Aeris: "I can’t believe I’m supposed to be killed by this idiot!"

Aerith: Mmm…..me so horny. Woah, did I just say that out loud? Woops.

This thread is still good.

Tifa: "We have to get Sephiroth like how he got us, we need to stab him right threw the heart!" *picks up a knife in demonstration and stabs herslf in the right breast*

*POP!!*

*Hissing of Air*

*Everyone stares*

Tifa: "Oh my!" *as right breast decreases in size*

Heres another

this is going of of the one guys thing of cloud calling red 13 kitty

Cloud is on a train and red 13 flies trew the window on the floor infront of him.

Cloud: "PUSSY-POO!!!"

Red XIII: "Oh no, HELP!!"

*Cloud puts pink bonnet on Red 13 and begins to hug him to death and is squeezing the life out of him*

Cloud: "Mommy’s going to love you and hug forever and ever hee hee hee"

Tifa: "We have to get Sephiroth like how he got us, we need to stab him right threw the heart!" *picks up a knife in demonstration and stabs herslf in the right breast*

*POP!!*

*Hissing of Air*

*Everyone stares*

Tifa: "Oh my!" *as right breast decreases in size*

Heres another

this is going of of the one guys thing of cloud calling red 13 kitty

Cloud is on a train and red 13 flies trew the window on the floor infront of him.

Cloud: "PUSSY-POO!!!"

Red XIII: "Oh no, HELP!!"

*Cloud puts pink bonnet on Red 13 and begins to hug him to death and is squeezing the life out of him*

Cloud: "Mommy’s going to love you and hug forever and ever hee hee hee"
Heh. Reminds me of someone i know. I can see Bush doing that.

Barret: What an awesome building!
Tifa: Yea
Barret: I’d like to work here some day.

Cloud hand Aeris her staff after losing it

Aeris: "I don’t need the piece ‘o’ shit bitch, I went and got new weapons" *pulls out two nickel plated hand guns with purple grips* "man all my stuff now is custom"

I got that from resident evil apocalpse

heres another

In the crator and sephiroth is holding them in the air before the battle

Cloud: "I can’t move my arms!"

Barret: "I can’t move my legs!"

Vincent: "I can’t control my bowel movements!"

Tifa: "HOLY F#@!ING SHIT!" *as vincent craps on her face*

Chocobo Farmer: I’m a gay Chocobo breeder!
Cloud: I don’t care which way you swing, I just need a chocobo.
Chocobo Farmer: No no no. I breed gay chocobos!
Cloud:……ewwwww.

Sephiroth: What in buttery goodness?

Barret: Sometimes there are days when I just don’t feel so…"fresh".

Aerith: *working at a florist’s cart* This job sucks! Screw this! I’m gonna burn this mutha down!!

Vincent: All I really want is some one with a certain…special…song… *background orchestra starts up*
Hojo: No! No singing! Not again! I’ll stick you out in the sunlight!

Aeris: We should hold a singing contest.
Yuffie:Yeah!!

Aeris: K, I’ll start. Yeah, we’re goin to da crater, yo, to kick Sephy’s butt
Cloud: Die, die, die, Se-phi-roth
Barret:A gun..is a gun…no matter where it is
Sephiroth:Everybody BURN IN HELL!!!!! *growls*
Tifa:You are beautiful, no matter if you’re dead
Red XIII:There was a scientist, had a project and Nanaki was his name-o.
Yuffie:I like gay people, wooooo! *takes off her shirt*
Cloud:…oh my god…….oh my god….oh my god….oh my god

Red XIII comes up to the bridge b/c his litter box is dirty

Red XIII: *In a whining voice* "Clean My Poopie!"

”I look like a bear wearing a marshmallow”

inspiration: Family Guy

Cloud did
………………………………………….. ………………………………………….. ….

Someone make a good 1 pls im bored and i kind of wanna laugh.

*Laughs at himself*
………………………………………….. ………………………………………….. ….

Wedge falls down the stairs.

Jessie : Cool do it again.
Wedge: I only fell because I saw Barret wearing my granny’s night dress. It was a horrible sight.

Jessie sees Barret wearing her night dress.

Jessie:OMG that’s MY night dress fool!
Barret: LALALALA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Wedge falls down the stairs again.

Wedge: oweeeeee

Tifa: so Aeris… I umm… *Scratches head* want to ask if you..umm.. want to have a threesome with me and Cloud tonight.
Aeris: *Checks her calendar* Uh sorry Tifa. I’m booked for Sephiroth and Hojo tonight.

——

Cloud: aAacchhooooooOo!!
Tifa:*pulls out tissues from her boobs* here you go Cloud.

———–

Aeris: Weeds for 5 gils each! Buy 1 get 5 free!
Yuffie: Here you can have all my materias *grab all the Weeds and ran off*

Barret: "If I hear ONE MORE ‘a girl, a dog and a man with a gun on his arm walk into a bar’ joke Cloud, I’m gonna SCREAM!"

(probably crap and/or already been done heh)

Aeris: "just so you know Cloud I’ve never played this before"

Cloud: "Don’t worry it’s pretty easy"

Aeris: *picks up racket and throws a mitton on the ground and begins beating it* "BAD MITTON BAD MITTON!!!!!!!!!"

Vincent singing to Aeris

Vincent: " I know you I walked with you once upon a dream! I know you the gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam!"

Aeris: "A dream is a wish your heart makes! when your fast asleep!!"

Vincent: " I know you I walked with you once upon a dream! I know you the gleam in your eyes is so familiar a gleam!"

Aeris: "A dream is a wish your heart makes! when your fast asleep!!"

Now that is something they’d NEVER say! :laugh:

Cloud: *roles over in bed* "I feel like I’m missing something."
Reno: *turns and looks at him* "What do you mean?"
Cloud: "I dunno. i just feel like I lost something."
Reno: "Whatever…" *gets out of bed and lands on something* "OW! What the hell is this?" *shows Cloud the object*
Cloud: *screaming* "Hey! That’s my virginity! Give it back!"

Heres one for Yuffie after Tifa throws a party

Yuffie: "Oh My good golly gosh, The house is a mess!! Everyone leave I have to clean and here money for everyone!" *gets into a snow white outfit* "Now I must clean COME MY ANIMAL FRIENDS!!"

i know a lot of these are really messed up, but dont hold it against me if i insulted you favourite character, cuz it’s all just in good fun

Aeris is working in her garden:

Aeris: "AHHH the accursed weed has killed thy flowers!! Feel thy known wrath WEEDS!!!" *zaps weeds with lightning*

Vincent: "Hey! what have I told you about gardening!"

Aeris: *in an ashamed voice* "Pretty flowers are made with love not magic."

Ok heres another

There is a beauty pagent and the winner gets to rule the earth for the day

"And the winner is Aeris!"

Cloud: "Oh thank god it was her and not Sephiroth whats the worst she could do in a day"

*Shows Aeris sitting on a throne with Midgar burning in the backround and all of Shinra and the Sephiroth clones pulling a huge bloulder in agony and sephiroth walking towards a statue.*

Aeris: *laughing menically and in a demonic voice* "AH HA HA HA, AH HA HA HA, KEEP WORKING SHINRA KEEP WORKING! AND SEPHIROTH DON’T FORGET TO POLISH MY STATUE!!!!!"

Cloud: "WOW, an Iron Fisted Dictatorship, thats the opposite of what I expected!"

Heres another I just thought of

Aeris gets stabbed by Sephiroth and falls over, then immediatly after hitting the floor bolts up.

Aeris: *singing* " I will, I will survive!"

*rest of the party including Sephiroth runs up and starts to disco dance with Aeris*

RedXIII: Why don I constantly feel like my tail is on fire? *looks behind him at his tail* Oh, that’s because..IT IS!! AHHHH!!!

The team is at the crater before its opened.

Tifa: "how are we gonna get in?"

Barret: "I have no idea"

Cloud: "I didn’t think about this"

Vincent: "Wait, let me at it I know who to open it!" *vincent walks up to the forcefield and raises his hands and starts moving them* "OPEN SESAME!, Abra Kadabra, Vini Veni Vichi, Coma coma coma cameleon, a wop woba loobop a wop bop doo." *nothing happens* "well thats alll I got."

So how do you manage to think so many funny quotes up? I managed only to put together one…and it was only one sentence…

Cloud is in the chapel and see’s Aeris’ ghost.

Cloud: "Aeris? Is it really you?"

Aeris: "Oh hi Cloud! Look at me. *turns demonic and zombie like* "I’M TERRIFYING!!!!!!"

Cloud: * in high-pitched school girl voice* "AAAAAAAHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!" *runs off screaming*

* Cid is souping up Aeris’ lawn mower to make it a super lawn mower*

Aeris: "WHAT THE F*%$ ARE YOU DOING TO MY LAWN MOWER!!!!"

Cid: "I’m making it into a super lawn mower."

Aeris: "What have we told you about making super things, remember super garden hose?"
*Flashback*
Aeris is watering her flowers

Aeris: "oh the poor dears they’re thirsty" *turns on hose which blasts her off the screen with water* * zooms out and shows midgar flooding and the people swimming for their lives and gasping for air*
*end of flash back*

Tifa: *comforting cloud* "and don’t make Cloud relive the horror of super toilet!"

Cloud: *Spazing out* " It took the plunger, THE WHOLE PLUNGER!!!" *goes into fetal position and sucks thumb*

Your jokes are great…I can tell you one thing, I have no humor when I tell jokes. People just look at me funny or walk away….even though I thought it was funny…

In truth, I can take someone’s joke that everyone laughed at and use it, and still get the same reply, silence……Echoe (Echoe, Echoe, Echoe)

of course its just what we made up…but it’s cool…

Aeris peeks at Cloud when he’s changing into the dress at Wal Market.

Aeris: "OH MY GOD CLOUD!! THERE"S A DILDO IN YOUR ASS!!!"

Cloud: "Um…uh…How did that get up there?"

Hahahaha!!

Well, catch you later, Trekkiesunited, I’m gonna go see some of the other threads…nice reading your jokes…their great!

Tifa: "well now that Aeris is dead Cloud, I guess there’s nothing left to keep you away from me."

Cloud: "But Tifa I still have feelings for Aeris."

Tifa: "I thought you might say that, good thing a made this realistic looking Aeris puppet." *puts on puppet* "Hello Cloud I’m Aeris, please love me the way you always did but instead love me through Tifa." *Tifa puckers up for a kiss*

Cloud: "No amount of theropy will ever make this right."

Here’s another

Sephiroth is standing about to kill Aeris when they hear happy kiddy music.

Sephiroth: "ICE CREAM? I love Ice Cream!" *Runs off screaming holding upa dollar* "Wait, WAIT Mr. Ice Cream Man I want to buy your frozen sugary goodness!!"

Aeris: "What the crap!"

Aeris: "Hey Tifa, without bending over tell me what color shoes you are wearing."

Tifa: "Uh…Umm..’maybe i can peek throught the crack’..uuhh…red?"

*everybody points and laughs hysterically*

Tifa: "THATS IT I HAVE HAD ENOUGH I AM GETTING A BREAST REDUCTION!!"

All the Guys: "NO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

Cid: Oh darn !

Yuffie: (insert something worth reading here)

Tifa: "In the water my breasts double as an emergency floatation device"

Red XIII: "Quick everyone, grab on to the breasts of life!!!"

Heres another

Cloud and Barret are having an argument on who is a better leader.

Cloud: "At least the group has faith in me"

Barret: "Oh we’ll see how much faith they have when they see these pictures of you..FROM THE 1970’s!!!" *shows a picture of cloud in an afro and bellbottoms*

Cloud: "HEY THOSE CLOTHES WERE IN STYLE BACK THEN!!!!"

I will never know how you come up with so many Trekkie, but I’m trying to find out….you wait…I’ll figure it out………..someday….

Cloud: ?! Hell no!!

Jenova: Original Puppet…Attack!!!!

Sephiroth(lunging at cloud): You’re done now…little sister!!!

Everyone: WHAT?!

thats it 4 my wacky installment

Vincent: It’s a beautiful day in the neighborhood…

take this 1 any way u want

Barret(to Marlene): You know daddy loves it wen you use that pose

Cait Sith: Soon I’ll be a real boy!!!

Vincent comes outside on a sunny day.

Vincent: "Ah the light I love the light!"

*Suddenly out of nowhere a truck delivering paper to an office crashes and he gets buried in the paper*

Vincent: "AAAHH The darkness I HATE THE DARKNESS!!! OW! a paper cut!!!"

Vincent comes outside on a sunny day.

Vincent: "Ah the light I love the light!"

*Suddenly out of nowhere a truck delivering paper to an office crashes and he gets buried in the paper*

Vincent: "AAAHH The darkness I HATE THE DARKNESS!!! OW! a paper cut!!!"
This is getting really old. Stop please.

Yuffie – Wow, I should save my money for christmas pressies…

Cloud – hmmm, tifa, you look good in that dress.

Cid – British Airways ROCKS! God bless England!

Nanaki (Red Viii) – Woof. Ahem.

Cait Sith – Wow, a swimming pool! DIVE!

Barrett – Wow, I must hurry to get to Ballet lessons!

Tifa – hey bi*ch! You scratched my f**king car! AAAAAH!

Aerit – oops, I farted!

* Typo, I meant Aerith

Yuffie: I’ll here to help you…and steal your matiera
Cloud: "what"
Yuffie: And defeat Spheiorth…and steal your matiera
Cloud:what
Yuffie: And watch you when you sleep…and steal your matiera
Cloud: what
Yuffie: and Steal your matiera.. Opps
Cloud: Hey!!

Vincent and Sephiroth: *singing* "Oh what a beautiful morning!"

Heres another

Final Battle Between Cloud and Sephiroth

Cloud and Sephiroth reach for their swords but instead pull out game boys and link them

Cloud: "Pikachu I choose You!"

Sephiroth: "I choose Jigglypuff!"

Cloud: "Pikachu Thundershock!"

Sephiroth: "NO!!! You knocked out my cute widdle Jigglypuff, I have no more Poke`Mon I blacked out!"

Sephiroth Falls over and Cloud wins

Sephiroth: ….No.

LATER THAT NIGHT

Sephiroth: Oh….MOMMY!

CLOUD:My life is totally sorted out

Cloud "Aeris?"

Aeris: "I’m not Aeris, I am the Monkey King, I command you all to dance, Dance my pretties DANCE!!"

*monkeys start to dance*

Cloud: *sigh* "Yes that’s Aeris alright."

Customer: All I want is a soda

Sephiroth: You have to order a meal

Customer: Give me a f^%&#g drink

Sephiroth: FU!!!! *Stabs customer through head*…….my soda………

…sorry…that was really bad

you stole that from "all about random battles" when you get to level four on the mini game you get that clip

http://www.flashplayer.com/animation/randombattles.html

Barret: "NO, I WANT TO BE PUSSY!!!"

Cloud: "Isn’t it quite obvious I fit the character of pussy perfectly?"

Tifa: "What are you two fighting about?"

Barret & Cloud: *holding GC controllers* "we’re playing 007 Nightfire and both of us want to be Pussy Galore, Tifa can you pick between us which is more of a pussy?"

Tifa: "I’m staying out of this one."

Heres another

Cloud and Aeris are having Sephiroth over for dinner

*Aeris is preparing a very nice meal*

Cloud: "you know if I wasn’t so mature I’d think this nice dinner was a sign of affection and that you totally dig sephiroth."

Aeris: "ok, Cloud lets use the good toilet seat so the meal is pleasent from begining to end."

Cloud: "THE GOOD TOILET SEAT!!! OH MY GOD YOU TOTALLY DIG SEPHIROTH!!!’

*Sephiroth shows up with a flower in a pot with an electrical device with it*

Sephiroth: "Now I just need to get in and use this Black Materia detector to find the black materia."

Cloud: "Oh no! That long dulling gray hair, that leather trenchcoat, HE’S GORGEOUS!!!!"

Aeris: "My, are those dead beeping flowers for me?"

Sephiroth: "why yes they are."

Aeris: "My how lovely dead AND beeping."

Sephiroth: "excellent now I just need one of these idiots to give me a tour of the house and I’m sure to find the black materia AH HA HA AH HA AH HA AH HA HA!!"

Cloud: "Um hello we’re right here, we can hear everything your saying."

Aeris: "And we’d love to be the idiots to give you a tour of the house!"

Cid: Well this ones got a twin engine.
Cloud: well…It stuipd looking
Cid: Dude you suck
Cloud: no I don’t watch *jumps in the plane *
see I can fly
Cid: sure….
Cloud Fuck you *starts the plane& takes off*
Cid: Damnit he gone.
*A nuclear flash *
*Cloud hauling ass to Cid*
Cloud see I said it was a crappy plane
*Cid walks away*
Cloud: what….What!

Man: I do say get rid of this fag! *slaps cigarette from Cid’s mouth*

Cid: Why I oughta…To da moon ya bastard, to da moon!!!!

Man: I do say ol’ chap what are you talking about

Cid:You F^@!#~ called me a &*^%$#! fag!

Cloud (in his ballroom dress): He was talking about that disgusting habit of yourz.

Cid (puzzled): What the &*^% do you mean?!

Cloud: Your tendency to blow in people’s faces.

Cid: OK *&#@# this, it’s getting too gay for me.

A STUDENT AND HIS TEACHER

Hojo: Goddam science! I hate it!!!

Professor Gast: What seems to be the problem?

Hojo: I cant get this dam girl to grow flowers.

Gast: Just give her a little time.

Hojo: Ive tried for a few weeks…They just wont grow!!!!

Gast: Let me take a look.

Hojo: Okay, young lady, drop your clothes.

Gast (shocked and disgusted): Why are there wilted flowers hanging from her…um…her…HER BOOBS?!

Hojo: I knew it, I failed!

Gast: No, this is horrible, disgusting and… *throws up in girl’s face*

Hojo(trying to look sexy): Then how ’bout some extra credit?

Gast:*runs away screaming*

HAHAHHA this is HOT!!! LMAO!

Red: I want some Cat food…

Oh, and the cool thing about it is if they told you to go away all ya have to do is say you dont understand wat there sayin…

another shit one by super nova

(hey it’s Valentine’s day!)

Aeris & Tifa: "yes…Yes…YEs..YES,YES,YES,YES, FASTER, FASTER!!!!! Quick Hit’em, HIT’EM, USE THE MUSHROOM! USE THE MUSHROOM!!!!!!

Barret: *breaks down door* "AH HA! I knew it I KNEW IT I…knew…it….?"

Tifa & Aeris: "YES WE FINALLY BEAT CLOUD AND CID IN MARIOKART DOUBLE DASH!!!"

*Cloud and Cid are hugging each other bawling like little babies*

Aeris: "DIE MIDGAR DIE!!!!! FEEL THY PLANETS WRATH OF TORNADOES AND LIGHTNING!!!!! AND YOU KNOW WHAT DIE PLANET DIE FEEL THE PAIN OF MY METEORS!!!!!"

Cloud: *Cloud bursts in the door*" AERIS WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?! How many times do I have to tell you to stay of my computer?"

Aeris: "I know I know but I just can’t stop playing SimCity 4!"

Hojo: Thats just an amazin Philosophy!

Bernie Mac: Of course it iz, thats why i get 10 pahcent.

Stripper: Hey Bernie.

Bernie Mac: Do I pay you to talk? Get Back to work *PIMP smacks her*

Hojo: Amazing, thats what makes peeple listen?

Bernie Mac: You just gotta feel empowered, you try, her rite there, tell her to get bak to work.

Hojo: I am a scientis…

Bernie Mac: Bitch, Bitch, Bitch, I dont want hear dat, jus do it!

Hojo: You there, naked human female, get off your ass and dance!

Stripper: *turns around…IT’S AERIS?!* !@*&^ you you dirty ole man!

Bernie Mac: You aint got it…Drop yo pants.

Hojo: Whta?1

Bernie Mac: *PIMP slaps Hojo* Do it Bitch!

Hojo: *drops his pants fearfully to show a tiny, penciled-in, cartoon, penis*

Bernie Mac: Get the hell out! Im goin hang wit a reel PIMP…Cloud! Where you at man?

Cloud: I know, i got it. *PIMP smacks Hojo and kicks him out*

Bernie Mac: Now back to Pimpin *toasts with Cloud and watches Aeris dance*

Goddam that wuz long

This thread should be dead by now.

Sephiroth: I hate leather! Whoever would dare kill a poor defenseless animal will pay!!!

Sephiroth: Maybe I should sumon Meteor on this thread
Aeris: Stuff Holy, this thread aint worth saving.

Sephiroth: Maybe I should sumon Meteor on this thread
Aeris: Stuff Holy, this thread aint worth saving.

Sephrioth: maybe i should cast meteor on Toastie
Cloud:na not worth the MP, better red13 shits on him
Red13: what, u want me to get blisters

Now thats a good one

Sephiroth: Maybe, the era of the Bad Guy is over.

Lex Luther: What do you mean?

Sephiroth: I dont know, we never win anymore. Think about it, Scarface, you guys always get stopped by Batman and Superman, Doc Oc, and of course the best of all…Me.

Joker: HAH…Screw it. We’re not supposed to win! We all just wanna be hated as much as possible and have fun with our favorite super hero counterparts. HAHAHAHA!!!!

Sephiroth(confused): Really?

Sum Big guy in corner: WUT! You believe that SHIT!?

Sephiroth: Well yeah, they got seniority.

Lex & Joker: What?!

Sephiroth: Yeah you were like the first badguys ever, or somethin’.

Guy in corner: You idiot! Dont listen to them, they do my laundry! Speakin’ of which, i want these stains gone or it’s your favorite jail game all ova again.

Lex & Joker: Yessir!!

Guy in Corner: Anywayz, the job of the badguy is to give those gay hero bastards a run for their money and hurt a couple’a people while yer at it. I think Sadaam did that best or maybe Osama.

Sephiroth: So i should be more like them?

Guy in Corner: Indeed.

Sephiroth: Thank You! I owe you everything for helping me to clear that up! What can i do to repay you?

Guy in Corner: I thought you’d neva ax…Come here you pretty grey-haired freak!!!!!! *pounces on Sephiroth to make sweet jail-love*

Sephiroth: *screams and can do nothing due to his daily six tranq shots* Don’t touch thaaaaaaaaaa…..!!!!!!!! AAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHH!!!!!!

Lex Luther: I’m glad that part of my life is over.

Host: So, Mr. Sephiroth, do you have a family?

Sephiroth: Yes I do. They have always been good to me *grins*

Host: How old is your mom?

Sephiroth: 7646 years old

Host: Really, now how old is your mom. No time for jokes.

Sephiroth: 7646. I’m not joking

Host: Is she dead?

Sephiroth: NO! How dare you insult my mommy! Die, m*****f*****!!!
*stabs host in head, casts Bolt3 on audience*
No one calls my momma dead….oh wait she is dead…no she isn’t, she’s mutated, but that would sort of make her dead……..*runs over to Jenova*

At home:

Sephiroth:Mommy, are you dead

Lucrecia: Oh stop it, I’m not dead

Sephiroth: Not you, fag

Lucrecia: But Jenova is not your mom

Sephiroth: Yes she is!!! *kills Lucrecia*

Jenova: Ummm..Sephiroth, Lucrecia is your mom.

Sephiroth: Damn…

Barret: *Shoots Cloud in the heart*

Cloud: Ugh!

Barret: F*** you!

Barret: Cloud, is your hair that spikey…everywhere?

Lol! That’s fresh!

Cloud: Actually, Barret, I havent grown any of those yet.

Barret: *Thinks back a few minutes* What?!

Cloud: I dont have any pubes…Smooth as a…

Barret(sickened and disgusted): You nas…I did’nt want…I F****n hate…*throws up on Cloud*

Cloud: Well you asked!!!!

Barret: *slaps Cloud with gunarm* You nasty f**k!! It was sarcasm! A joke! $#@@$!!!

Cloud: Oh yeah, well wait til you hear what Tifa said about your performance!

TO BE CONTINUED…?! (sum1 finish my story)

Barret: What?! I’ll kill you!!! &^%*$

Cloud: It’s not my fault you’re no good at…

Barret: *hits Cloud again and jumps on top of him to continue the beating*

Tifa: *walks in on this funny looking situation* What the hell!!!

Cloud: (what does Cloud say? Someone add)

Sorry I just had to share these, just stole it from http://s8.************.com/Cloud_x_Aerith/index.php?showtopic=332&st=0 (please spare me.. *cries*)

Back on topic:
Vincent: I’m 59 years old but I love little girls in their 20’s.

Aeris: I’m going to get breast surgery so I can be bigger than TIFA!

^^ LOL ! I ♥ Cloud

wtf ?!?!

wait………………………………..ye they r (contiues laughing at the pics)

Red XIII: I think I need a shave.

Red XIII: I think I need a shave.

u just spoiled the funny atmosphere now!! thank alot!!!

(just messin)

*When meteor first appears in the sky.*
Vincent: (casual voice) We’re doomed.

Editor: No, I don’t feel like it.

Aeris: Stupid *takes Sephiroth’s sword out of her and stabs editor, turns on music*
Now that’s more like it.

Yeah that was dumb, right??

(kidding)

Cloud at the Phamarcy in Section 6:
Do you have hair grease that has super hold that last for about 2 yrs?

(yes, stupid isn’t it?)

there not only is it the definition of stupid, but morally wrong as well, beat that

Saleswoman: What…the…Why is it always my shift!!!

Vincent: *taps gun handle anticipating an answer* ahem…I could use some help.

Saleswoman: Why don’t you just try this *takes out dress Aeris wore at the Don’s mansion*

Vincent: I love it!!! Come help me try it on…please!!!!

Saleswoman: *very disgusted* I hate living. *helps Vincent into dress* Now don’t you feel…pretty?

Vincent: So you mean I don’t look tough?!

Saleswoman: OH WHAT?! *grabs Vincents neck and a shot instantly goes off*

Vincent(holding dying saleswoman): Now I must attone again! *drops her and runs off screaming and crying*

Cloud(who was shopping with Vincent): Well, he was out for a minute. Now I guess he’s going back in.

Tifa: You mean he’s going back in that coffin, right?

Cloud: Yeah…Somethin’ like that…Sure.

Tifa: Yuffie, you really have to stop this!

Yuffie: What do you mean *sitting and shaking in a corner*

Tifa: You’re gonna kill youself…besides, it’s not your fault.

Yuffie:*still shaking* If those people still had their materia, would Sephiroth have mangeled them the way he did?

Sephiroth(useless attempt at consoling her): *rubs her shoulders* I would’ve done either way, you just helped me do it faster.

Yuffie:*begins crying*

Tifa:*punches Sephiroth in shoulder* Goddam you!!

Sephiroth: Sorry! I guess that didin’t work. What’s her problem anyway?

Tifa: She keeps doing…Things to herself thinking about those people you murdered.

Sephiroth:*smirking* What kinds of things?

Tifa: Not whatever you’re thinking.

Sephiroth:*retakes control of his dirty imagination* Oh…dam.

Yuffie:*cuts herself with ninja stars* Let the evil bleed out!!!!!!

Tifa: She’s doing it again.

Sephiroth: I can solve this *draws his sword*

Tifa: NOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!!

3 hours later…

Sephiroth:*evil laughter* I’m finally finished!!!

Yuffie: This new hot-tub is so soothing.

Tifa:*rubbing Yuffie’s shoulders* Yeah, Sephiroth, you did good. I wish I could reward you.

Sephiroth:*strips naked in a flash* I’ll take it!!!!

Tifa & Yuffie: *laugh at his size* Now we know why you’re angry at the world!!!!!!

did u read the next one?

um…huh? r u serious?

Tifa (Juliet): Romeo, oh Romeo, I love you Romeo!

Cloud (Romeo?): *climbs up balcony* I love you too Julie…? You! You have stolen yet another thing from me! You fiend!

Sephiroth (Romeo?): *stops committing fornication* Oh…this is a pickle, isn’t it. What do you want, water boy?

Cloud (highly confused): What the hell?! I thought I was Romeo!

Sephiroth: *gets off of a now happy Tifa* No, you are just an understudy but, since my performance was so good, you’re just the water boy.

Cloud: What?! No! I’m so confused!!! *goes into fetal position on the floor*

Tifa: Whatever, I know I got what I wanted.

Sephiroth (highly pissed): That’s all I meant to you?! *picks up his sword from his pile of clothes* I’ll kill you!! I thought you loved me!!

Tifa: *punches him in stomach* I just liked you ’cause you had a big sword.

Sephiroth: *falls to the floor crying* Cloud, maybe me an you are more alike than I thought.

Cloud: F**K you!!!

END…FIN…CLOSE…ALL DONE…NO MORE…OR IS THERE?

lol. i was messin too dude
(damn i like pissin u off)

you had to make that clear for Aeris_Pink cuz of her weak stumak huh?

How’s this:

Sephiroth: Can’t we all just get along?

Hojo: I’ve quit science. I’m going to take up beekeeping.

Barret: I have a Ph.d in Quantum Physics.

Vincent: Hey, y’all! I’ve just taken some Prozac and now I’m HAPPY!

Rufus: Oh! You ruined my HAIR! (no, wait, maybe he would say that)

Right after Sephiroth stabs Aeris the entire party is around him glaring down at him.

Sephiroth: *as cloud and them are closing in* "Uuhhh, TA DA!?"

Heres another

As Sephiroth is dropping right before he kills Aeris

Sephiroth: "WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!! !!!!!"

Tifa: "AERIS WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!?!"

Aeris: "I was just being nice and was gonna show Sephiroth the black materia"

Tifa & Cloud: "YOU WERE GONNA SHOW HIM THE BLACK MATERIA!?!?!"

Tifa & Barret: "AERIS WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!?!?!"

Aeris: "Come on Sephy lets go find some place more private *starts to walk upstairs and says to cloud* Could you be anymore like them?"

Cloud Barret &Tifa: *pointing at each other* "I AM NOT LIKE HIM!!!"

Cloud: "This is akward."

(Okay I am a newbie and can admit that was fruity.)

At Fort Condor:

Man: Now, we need you to help us defend the Condor…
Cloud (like Napoleon Dynamite): Does the Condor have large talons?
Man: What?
Cloud: Large talons
Man: Son, I don’t know what you just said.

Tifa: What are going to do today, Cloud?
Cloud: I’ll do whatever I feel, GOSH!

(okay, I watch too much Napoleon Dynamite)

Hojo: Sephiroth, join me, and we can rid the planet of Jenova and the Weapons!
Sephiroth: I’ll never join you!
Hojo: It is your destiny. Dr. Gast never told you what happened to your father.
Sephiroth: He told me enough. He told me you killed him!
Hojo: No, Sephiroth, I am your father!
Sephiroth: No, it’s not true…That’s impossible!
Hojo: Believe it, Sephiroth.
Sephiroth: NOOOOOOO!

Sephiroth: How could you possibly be my father?!
Hojo: …Gee, Sephiroth, I thought that surely someone would have told you the facts of life by now. You see, when a man and a woman…
Sephiroth: That’s not what I meant!

Ok heres a continuation of the one i did earlier

A week after the akward incident with Aeris and Sephiroth

Aeris: "Well Sephy and I have Broken up."

Tifa: "Why?"

Aeris: "He tried to stab me"

Tifa, Cloud & Barret: "I TOLD YOU THAT PUNK WAS NO GOOD!!"

Cloud: "This is akward again"

Barret: "Well Cloud now that you and I are getting along so much better its time i intitiate you into my group of followers."

Cloud: "WHAT?!?!"

*Barret takes Cloud into a room and Aeris and Tifa hear him screaming, Finally it stops and Cloud comes out with a Mr. T haircut, and machine gun duct taped to his arm, and dressed like Barret*

Cloud: *With an angery look on his face* "NOT A WORD OUT OF ANY OF YOU!!"

Tifa: *laughing* "Well Cloud you could always make a wig out of the clipping until it grows back"

Cloud: "Hey, thats not a bad idea" *hears Barret vacuuming* "NO!!!" *runs in and comes running out after ripping apart the vacuum holding his hair thats now all dusty and runs toward the bathroom* "I’m Sorry, I’M SORRY!!! come on let papa clean you up!"

Which reminds me check out bestrush.com its comics make Barret act like a Mr. T imitation (laughs like Heidegger) Gyahahahahahaha! I slept with Don Corneo! Gyahahahahahahaha!

Nanaki: I have decided to spray paint my fur pink!
Cloud: I have decided to dye my hair like Zack’s…who’s is like Raditz’s!
Cid: I have decided to dye my hair orange, like Rufus’s!
Ancient: Nyuk nyuk!
Okay, fruity…>.>

Thanks for the attention, u_aint_ready.

Hey, what’s wrong with Napoleon Dynamite? :Sniff: I loved that movie. The fact that it was plotless was one of things that made it so funny. The bit with the cow was actually based off a childhood anecdote of the director’s.

Anyway…

(Shinra soldier searches Red XIII in the lab, pulls out a bag)
Shinra soldier: Hmm…Catnip.
Red XIII: Uh…That’s not mine.

Sephiroth (kneeling on a rock, rubbing his hair): Oh, preciousssss. Myyyy precccioussss!

Tifa: "He had a gun I thought he was with the shinra!"

Barret: "Tifa this is Midgar, everyone has a gun, Marlene has a gun for gods sake!"

Cloud: "I don’t have a gun. My ancestors were Quakers, we don’t beleive in violence."

Hence why this is called things they would NEVER say.

"I think red is the gayest color ever"

or Vincent would never say…

hell i dont no insert any happy line and it would be awkward

Vincent: "Lets go to FAIRYTOPIA!!!!"

Cloud: I think you’re slightly confused…

Cid: come on put the 50 in her damn thong
Vincent: I can’t
Cid: Why!?
VIncent: becuse it’s aries I she’s a dear friend
Cid: so what I’m the one who payed her a ton of gil to do this so put the Damn gil the damn thong! CLoud’s doin it
Vincent: but he’s dateing her.
Cid: *slaps vincent*

Vincent: I always hated the popular kids at school *shoots Cloud in face* Dam pretty ass popular kids. I outta ki…*walks off muttering*

Vincent: I always hated the popular kids at school *shoots Cloud in face* Dam pretty ass popular kids. I outta ki…*walks off muttering*

This I think Vincent WOULD actually do, but it’s still funny though! ROFLMFAOLAR

*Plop* *Plop*
Seph: Hey, What the hell…i didnt know you had implants.
Aeris:…
Cloud: I knew she was hiding something.
*Barret prods implants with gun arm*
Barret: Hey Tifa, look at this they jiggle
Aeris:…
Seph: Oh well, Whos up for a meal at my place, were having roasted chocobo

Hojo: Let’s go fishing, son!
Sephiroth: YIPPEE!

Guys: "Wow Tifa your hot!"

Tifa: "Oh I know"

Aeris: *Whispers to Cloud* "Hey I’m pretty too right Cloud?"

Cloud: "…."

Aeris *Grabbing Cloud and spazing out with one eye twitching* "TELL ME I’M PRETTY!!!!!!"

Cloud: Just because I say it doesn’t mean that it’s true.

Aeris: I’ll smash them…

why did i do that? i jus like building on stuff

Cloud: Could I get some Miller Lite please?

Bartender: Sure

Cloud gets beer, drinks it

Cloud: another please

After about 25 glasses, Cloud……….

Cloud in a drunk sense: Aeris is a shmuck, I wanna marry President Shinra, someone get me some more beer

Bartender: I’ll marry you, forget the President

Cloud: Hey Mr. President

Tifa: You chose him over me!!!!

Aeris: I’m not a shmuck!!!

Tifa: yes u are

Tifa and Aeris beat each other senseless

Tifa: Wait, why are we beating each other?

Aeris: *let’s go of Tifa’s hair* I really don’t know.

Cloud: *sneaking off with bartender*

Aeris and Tifa: We should be beating him *chase Cloud and the Bartender with broken beer bottles*

Rufus: What, the curtains?

Shinra: Of course not the curtains! The city, the land, as far as you can see! People told me I was daft to build a city in a swamp, so I built one anyway, just to show ’em. It sank into the swamp. So, I build a second one. That sank into the swamp. Then I built a third one. That one burned down, fell over, and then sank into the swamp. But then I built a fourth one, and it stands to this day. That’s what you’ll get, lad! The strongest city on the Planet!

Rufus: But, father, I don’t want that. I’d rather…

Shinra: Rather what?

Rufus: I’d rather…SING!

*Cloud and everyone run to a part of the airship to find Red XIII in his new self cleaning litterbox with his tail caught in the motors of it*

Red XIII: "HELP ME, HELP ME!!! IT’S TRYING TO, OOUUUCHH!!, EAT ME!!!!!"

Cloud, (with aeris and tifa in backround dancing): I Like Big Butts and i Cannot Lie….

Aeris: "Um, I don’t mean to sidetrack your question here, but, who are all of these nosy people, outside influences I’m seeing around you by the moon card?!"

Dyne: My hands are to rusty to hold Marlene anymore… *Jumps off cliff*

{a few seconds later….}

Dyne: Ouchhh……

Barrett: You ok?

Dyne: Yea… Let’s go play at the golden saucer.

Sephiroth: *after Cloud does Omnislash* "ha ha ha is that all you got?!?!"

Cloud: "But that was supposed to kill you:

Sephiroth: "don’t you get it? I CAN’T die!"

*BANG!*
*hole in Sephiroth and he is bleeding*

Aeris: *holding a pistol* "JUST" *FIRES* "FUCKING" *FIRES AGIAN* "DIE!!!!!!"

*while cloud is preparing the pie Sephiroth gets next to cloud*
Sephiroth: Oh cloudy this kake smells so good, what is it?
Cloud: *frying apples* Oh no no no no it’s not a kake, it IS an apple pye.
Sephiroth: Apple pye??? ohh it’s my favorite! my mommy prepaerd me delicious pyes.
Barret: *whasing the ditry dishes* Oh really?
*Aerith’s voices hears and she sais*
Aerith: Cloud we have a call in the line from Cid
Cloud: Oh hello cid!
Cid: Oh hi cloud I’m so happy my call entered, I call your program every day and now… we can finally talk!
Cloud: Well what can we do for you?
Cid: Can you repeat the ingredients of the apple pye please, i was looking for a pencil and i couldnt copy.
Barret: *hugs cloud and sreams * AHHHHHH THERE’S A SPIDER!!!! KILL IT CLOUD KILL TI!!!!!! *brret runs crying*
Sephiroth: No barret, wait for me
Cloud: *starts crying* OHHHH MY PYE!!!

Cloud: "Well I was going out with Tifa, but, your cuter I’ll go out with you instead." *pulls picture of Tifa out of wallet and tears it in half*

Goes to Tifa in her bar

Tifa: *is serving people and suddenly drops everything in pain and grabs herself in the area where Cloud tore her picture in half* "*screaming in pain* AAAAHHHHH!!!!"

Barret: *shoots wildly at everything in his path* hahahaha!!!!!!! This is a real paradise screw the promised land!!!!!!!!

Rufus: Dam straight!!!! *fires shotgun round at target*

Vincent: Indeed…

Aeris: Hey you guys, we finally found it!!!!! You gotta come see it, it’s beautiful!

Barret: If there’s anything more beautiful than what I’m doin right now you can shoot me in the balls.

Aeris: Oh just come on *grabs barret and throws him in her truck*

Barret: *after six hours, finally gets out of car* Are you serious, this is what you call beauty.

Cloud: Yeah *sniff* we’re all moved to tears.

Sephiroth: Truly, I don’t even want to kill anymore. The Promised Land…*goes off humming and dancing gayly*

Barret: Son of a bitch!!!!!! You moved me from heaven to hell! *shoots Aeris in head then goes on a rampage and murders everyone else* I’m going back to da range.

Vincent: Good to see you.

Barret: Screw you, I just came from hell and I want some alone time *sits in a corner and strokes and kisses his gun*

Rufus: Say, where’d all that blood on you come from?

Barret: *shoots Rufus in head* I said I was in hell and don’t wanna talk about it!!!! *turns to Vincent* Anybody else wanna ask questions?

Vincent: *turns from Barret and continues shooting nervously*

Barret: Back in heaven…

Barret: "AHHH A BEE!! MAKE IT GO AWAY!!"

Tifa pulls out an aerosal can a sprays the bee, it falls to the ground and she stomps on it.

Barret: "What was that? I’ve never seen anything like it!"

Tifa: "Cloud’s hairspray"

Cloud: "MY HAIRSPRAY!!! I PAID $255.99 FOR THAT!!"

Yuffie: "Hey guys wanna hear something cool!"

Cloud: "Not now Yuffie we’re busy!"

Tifa: "yeah so go find some other way to entertain yourself!"

Yuffie: "How am I supposed to do that?"

Cloud: "I don’t know go read the dictionary!"

Yuffie: "ok"

about 5 minutes go by

Aeris: "so Cloud, how are we gonna defeat this nemesis?"

Yuffie: "Nemesis- An enemy or foe"

Cloud: "well we could try summoning Holy like the ancient writings say"

Yuffie: "Holy- something sacred or associated with divine power, or an ancient spell used to destroy meteor, I never would have thought this would be so much fun!"

Aeris: "Oh it’s so wonderful they are finally getting married, and exactly one year from our wedding Cloud"

All the guys but Cloud: "*crying* now will never have a chance with her waaah!"

Priest: "does anyone have a reason why these to should not be wed?"

Cloud begins to raise hand

Aeris: "TALK AND I’LL KILL YOU!!!!"

Cloud- To be or not to be, who the hell is Toby anyway?

Tifa: Is my top too tight?

Barret: I pity the fool!

Cid: I have discovered I have a fear of flying!

Actually, I said that in response to one of the first posts made by a particularly pesky spammer last night. Now I have a totally random post sitting in the middle of the thread since the post I replied to has been deleted.

Nothing to see here. Move along.

sorry its my frist one

Navi: Link! Pull the Master Sword out of the pedestal so we can save Zelda! Link, are you- HEY! Where’s Link?
Cloud: Dammit! I am SO dying my hair. *saves hyrule with Buster sword*

Aerith: *Talking to Cloud* So, have you ever met my twin sister Aeries? *Dominatrix version of Aerith walks into room, cacks whip*

o.O sorry, nothing to do….

(Barret)
"OH MY GOD!! THOSE SHOES LOOK SOOO GOOD ON YOU"

(Cloud)
"I know don’t you just wanna buy some"

haha

Red XIII: You realize only I would live long enough to see that, don’t you?

Cloud: Don’t take my dreams away!!!!!!!! *runs off crying with his head half shaven*

Hmm tell me if you actually find something. That would be funny.

And thank you, Cloud20747. I do my best.

Ok how did i do i sucked didn’t I?

Uhh…wow. That’s…ummm…wow.

Oh, check this out…
http://images.google.com/images?q=Aerith+Dominatrix&hl=en&btnG=Search+Images

Some actually cosplayed as an Aerith dominatrix. that’s hilarious.

Cloud and Sephiroth: (singing)"Every rose has its thorn…."

Tiffa: "Aerith…….do you want to make out?"

Barrette: "SEPHIROTH FOR PRESIDENT"

Cid: "I’M AFRAID OF HEIGHTS!!!!"

Cloud: "Stop the violence."

Cid: "Ok, who has my GOOD stelleto heels?……aw c’mon Barrette those cost me 150 gil online at e-bay, man…..(althought he does look hot in them, maybe I should ask him to the dance……)

thats all i got 4 now

Hmmm… I think I’ll add my own demented twist……

Sephiroth: Do you choose the red pill or blue pill?
Yuffie: Hmmm.. what does each pill do?
Sephiroth: *reads off pill-effect list* The red pill, once taken, will increase all your stats by 1000%. The blue pill…you’ll wake up tied naked to a bed with some weirdo named Tingle in an S&M suit whippping you, but he’ll let you go after a few hours.
Yuffie: Ouch.
Seph: Yeah.
Yuffie: Do I have to take one?
Seph: Yeah. Deathbot 3000 is waiting outside, with phasers set on "Vaporize". I tried to make him go away, but he said he wasn’t leaving until I got them to bring Adam Carolla and Jimmy Kimmel back together.
Yuffie: I’ll take the red pill, then.
Seph: I really don’t think you want to do that.
Yuffie: Look, I am a NINJA. Ninjas don’t get tied naked to beds, okay?
Seph: Look, I really don’t-
Yuffie: Red. Pill. NOW.
Speh: Fine, but don’t say I didn’t warn you. *pulls out HUGE red pill*
Yuffie: What the hell!? I can’t fit that in my mouth!
Seph:…it’s a suppository.

Sephiroth:Respect my authoritie!!! *gets on big wheel and pedals away*

Cloud:Instead of saying shit, just say poo, like poo head, awe poo and this poo is cold!

Barret:Hello children.

Aeris:A rimshot is when you put your legs behind your head and let somebody lick your ass.

Tifa:*blinks and looks dumbfounded* What the hell is going on with y’all?

Clod: We’re practicin’ for the school play *comes from behind curtain to show his new Mr. Garrison-like figure*

Tifa:Oh no…*Twilight zone music begins to play*

Vincent: *Poses* Er, This cape doesn’t make me look fat, does it?

Vincent: *Tugging at Cloud’s hand; like a child* C’monnnn, beat Sephiroth later…Queer as folk is on!

Vincent: What’re you talking about!? My hair fabulous!

Vincent: Welllll, we -could- slaughter our enemies tonight, or…watch Titanic!

And others;

Tifa: I think I need to change my wardrobe…I got seven offers for a ride just walking here!

Cloud: Well, I’ve decided to stop using the Buster Sword…My spikey hair can take multiple enemies!

Barret: It’s hammer time!

ahhaha! i love this one!

wow, caught me off guard when i read it.very unexpected and slightly distubing. good job

heres another one

cloud:hey sephiroth how do you like the final fantasy game doesnt squall just remind you of vincent
sephiroth:yeah the whole lone wolf thing
barret and aeris enter the room
barret:hey turn ff-8 off i just rented out kingdom hearts
they all play kingdom hearts and after they get up to the hades cup……
Barret:why the fuck are you three int his game and im not at least tifa isnt in it
sephiroth:its because i make an awesome side boss hahahahahahaha

…oh yeah. i’m new. my first post. 😀

ragnarok nine_

Too bad if it has been said.

…oh yeah. i’m new. my first post. 😀

ragnarok nine_
Cid sounds so nervous, lol.

ragnarok nine_

Director: What are you doing?!

Sephiroth: I seriously can’t look at that thing and say mother anymore. Either you get something less gruesome, or I quit.
Director: Hmmm…

Lloyd(gayly): Legend of Dragoon is below me now!! Mother… They’re stealing the planet from you Mother!!!!

Sephiroth: *holds out cup* Change. Change for the formerly great Supervillain you love to hate.

Sephiroth: You think my sword is long? You haven’t seen what’s in my pants.

:laugh: :laugh: best one ive heard yet!

Tifa: Does what hurt?

Cloud: When your boobs bounce like that, does it hurt?
——————————-

Cloud: This doesn’t feel like warm apple pie!

(if you’ve never seen american pie, you wouldn’t get this)

Vincent to Cloud: " Does this go well with my silk shirt?" ( Shows him an Armani suit)
Cloud: " I prefer the red one"

(Tifa and Aeris see the whole scene)

Tifa: Well at least they aren’t with girl undeware..
Aeris: You Spoked too soon

Cid appears with girl underware and talks to Cloud

Cid: #$#$% Now i have to return this to Sephiroth ( Shy)
Cid: Let me see that? OMG i saw this one for half the price