One two buckle my shoe
get the fuck out, I can do my own shoe.
Three four, knock at the door
get the fuck out, Jehovah’s
Five six, pick up sticks
lol you fucking tramp
Seven eight, lay them straight
get a better hobby, this one sucks
Nine ten, a big fat hen
thats no hen, its your mum lol
Eleven twelve…wait, did this shit even get this far or wot?
more to come guys ^_^
Gregory was a man from the village,
Who deliver’d apples for tuppence
ha’penny.
He came to the manor when Fanny was home
And offered her a Granny
Smith.
‘Cor blimey mister’ declared the Fanny
‘Thats right ripe an’ juicee that
is.’
So impressed with the apples was she,
That she humped Gregory in the
barn.
But alas! alack! Gregory was a right
Dirty rotter, and Fanny caught the
clap.
Lets have some vag cakes,
I baked them yesterday.
‘Wow these are great Mr Kipling’
‘I know d00d, I’m fucking 1337’
And he certainly was.
Where’d I put me fackin fags?
There over here mum.
I know that you fackin little cunt.
GOD BLESS THE PARENTS OF GREAT BRITAIN AND THE COMMONWEALTH
Tried to board a plane, yo.
Go denied by the feds, yo.
But I am a singer star, yo.
So I’ll board any plane I want, yo.
CAT STEVENS CAT STEVENS CAT STEVENS
But now I am Yusuf Islam, yo.
I released many an album, yo.
According to Wikipedia these are:
* Matthew and Son (1967)
* New Masters (1967)
* Mona Bone Jakon (1970)
* Tea for the Tillerman (1970)
* Teaser and the Firecat (1971)
* Catch Bull at Four (1972)
* Foreigner (1973)
* Buddha and the Chocolate Box (1974)
* Saturnight (Live in Tokyo) (1974)
* Numbers (1975)
* Izitso (1977)
* Back to Earth (1978)
* Footsteps in the Dark: Greatest Hits, Vol. 2 (1984)
* Majikat (2005)
* Gold (2005 compilation)
* And many other anthologies and compilations.
yo.
CAT STEVENS CAT STEVENS CAT STEVENS
GJ~
C – is for cunt
U – is for umbilical cord
i Need you now, my love, save me from myself
Try to find the emotional truth behind your words
Slow down, its my first time.
You are the most talented poet I have encountered, you just blow me away
<3 all of them though.
Dear
I
Neglected to mention I cannot satisfy her on the first date and now she’s curled up in my bed waiting for a good rodding oh calamity what to do what to do wait a minute fair tax fair tax fair tax fair tax eureka!
only one i’ve ever attempted ;(
I got it from Waitrose,
It was on offer.
Two for one, said the woman with the helpful expression.
I chose Original
I chose it twice.
I like to play it safe.
Helpful expression appeared again.
‘I like a safe man’.
She lead me into the warehouse.
We bonked behind some crates of fabric softner.
No johnnies graced my seed disperser.
A year on, she has a child.
I lol’d. NOT SO SAFE AFTER ALL, BINT!
~
Roses are red,
Violets are blue,
I’ll fuck you with a raque.
Violets are Blue
My vacuum will finish this outside.
gtfo out of my thread
you dirty stinking cuntrag
a good lad from
the
south.
I know him through a
final fantasy
chatroom and also
this doesn’t rhyme
His eyes are
not that great
But his breasts
are not dun
yaar, me hormones, wheres me frickin hormones?
Gives me hormones to me
I needs me hormones, me juicy juicy hormones,
Me hormone replacement therapeeeeee!
Me minge is sour, me flaps are dry,
I needs me hormones, or I shall die,
I needs me hormones, me juicy juicy hormones,
Me hormone replacement therapeeeeee!
Dulce et decorum est,
pro patria mori
I needs me hormones, me juicy juicy hormones,
Me hormone replacement therapeeeeee!
Christmas time, miseltoe and wine
Children commiting outrageous crimes
With OAPs on fire,
And blacks hanging in the trees
Its time to rejoice for the h8 that we see.
That’s a pretty Stratocaster, btw.