why should i go on? why should i even open up my eyes?
why should i even listen to this world it just causes pain and my heart dies,
i know in my heart the darkness calls me. why should i go on?
why can’t i just fall back and die? just suddenly be gone,
why can’t i let darkness bring me my death?
just let it consume me and steal my breath,
why do my thoughts still linger?
why can’t i let death pull the trigger with its icy finger?
how can i think about happiness and continue to live?
when all my love is gone and i gave all i could give,
can’t i just accept it? let it finally end,
welcome my own death its self as my one and only friend,
when a man has lost his heart,
had his very core torn and ripped apart,
why can’t l just say its done and over?
let those that would care cry and weep on anothers shoulder,
thank you for finally giving me the answer i so deperately seek,
thank you for showing my path and my direction. now let me sleep,
so i get ready for the inevitable and take my last meal,
surely death will take me now and my soul forever be sealed,
why should i go on? i think as i take my bread,
finally i succumb, a man lies here broken and dead,
copyright 2004 j.m.c
this wasn’t just written down. this came to me in one of the worst times of my life so its very powerful to me. its my original work. i could use all the critique people can offer i have alot more i’ve written. poetry to me isn’t just writing words down that rhyme. I put my heart, my soul, my frustration, my misery, grief, the mind’s inner turmoil etc… into what i write. Poetry to me has been an outlet for me to put my feeling on paper helps me feel alot better. Sure beats putting a gun to my head and actually pulling the trigger. plz keep in mind there may be mistakes but i can’t really get something published till its polished so to speak. i hope you enjoy it.
It is good, other than you did type the stanzas wrong.
P.S Don’t listen to Prak, he’s been a dick for as long as i can remember.
poetry that’s written for the sake of writing is pointless
EDIT: BS has also been known to post his own terrible poetry despite the fact that nearly everyone here pokes fun at him about it. It’s just a stubborn protest against our common sense.
This mentality is exactly why there’s so much terrible poetry on the internet.
lol…i wouldn’t call that junk poetry…ink blots make more sense than any "poetry" posted up on the internet
here’s a pointer BS…if you really want your work to be read critically and even appreciated by other writers…try to get it published
publication establishments use other writers to filter what pieces are the most appropriate for their presses and will generally choose pieces that would be accepted by their target audiences
if you decided to skip all that…
posting "poetry" on the internet is pointless
here’s a pointer BS…if you really want your work to be read critically and even appreciated by other writers…try to get it published
publication establishments use other writers to filter what pieces are the most appropriate for their presses and will generally choose pieces that would be accepted by their target audiences
if you decided to skip all that…
posting "poetry" on the internet is pointless
If Bizarro got any of the works he posted here published, I’ll fly to the fucking moon and back.
then let’s hope someone doesn’t publish them…that trip’s expensive =P
use you’re instead…it makes you look smarter
You don’t warrant a real effort. You’re too low on the food chain for me to care.
However your delivery needs work. You’re not gonna waste your time to write a masterpiece to prove you know anything about poetry.
So I have to write a masterpiece to show that I know something about poetry? That’s retarded. I guess I also have to make movies to know a good one from a bad one. On top of that, I’m clearly not qualified to say whether a game is good or bad since I don’t make them. And who am I to say that the Mona Lisa is a good painting since I don’t paint? I don’t write music, so I obviously shouldn’t say whether any of it is good or bad.
In case you haven’t caught on, this was an entirely sarcastic exercise in proving that you’re an absolute fuckwit.
Since that is the case i’m not gonna waste my time and listen to your reply either.
As if you can possibly resist.
Have a good day. I’ve dealt with your type before and I know exactly what to do.
My type? You mean your betters? If that’s the case, you know wrong. You are supposed to kiss our asses and learn from our superior wisdom in hopes of one day coming close to my level.
Well sniperwolf, i have to say that you’re poem wasn’t that bad as some say, but it shows that you are expressing a heart ache through writing and considering that it depicts such a sad time in your life, you felt that you should share it.
The thing is, that not many can relate to it and so they may deem the poem worthless. Hmm, there are just somethings in life that are personal and those thinks tend to be useless to others. And so what prak was originally saying before he got rude was that although you think it is a poem of merit. most others on this forum won’t because they cannot relate to something only you have experienced.
I dunno *shruggs* so don’t get angry and discouraged because had i known about your heartache i’m sure i could have related to your poem:-D
Writing, pretty much any kind, is going to be poor if it’s only about the author without containing anything to appeal to the readers interest. From reading your poem, I would suggest studying the subject properly and reading a range of published poems in order to get a better idea of how to go about it before writing anything else.
Without meaning this to sound offensive, unless you’re willing to make the effort to recognise how your poetry can be improved and work on it, then you’re in for a lot of disappointment if you’re hoping to get your stuff published.
Haha i am actually trying so, if it gets published……….
YOU CAN SUCK THE COCKS OF A MILLION CAMELS!
This looks like a preteen junior high student going through their depression phase of puberty wrote it. It needs work and needs to sound a little less…angsty.
being hard on someone can help at times
You say that as if you’re the pinnacle of heterosexuality, intelligence and helpfulness.
Lol… ROFL… yeah i guess that’s true Prak but you jsut seem to be rude all the time anyway, so i just thought i’d let you know.
Self righeous snot lol, that’s a good one, where do you people get names like that.
Hey Sniperwolf! You’re not so bad.
I’m all about writing for yourself when it’s needed, and it’s always good to have that outlet. I respect that. What I don’t respect is when people put those poems up to share with others, and then use the ‘excuse’ of "well, I wrote this for me, so I don’t give a fuck what you think." WELL YOU POSTED IT SO OBVIOUSLY YOU GIVE A FUCK WHAT WE THINK. I’m glad your poem means a lot to you (and I use the word ‘poem’ loosely), but in the grand scheme of things, it’s awful. The rhymes are frankly juvenile. It doesn’t say anything to the reader at all other than worthless self-pity. There are no bursts of creativity. And frankly, like I said I think in the third or fourth post, it looks like a damn third-grader wrote it during their twenty-minute free-write period just after recess.
for the second: it sucks
This one is okay I suppose, but the grammar isn’t top notch. I guess it doesn’t matter here.
Self righeous snot lol, that’s a good one, where do you people get names like that.
Hey Sniperwolf! You’re not so bad.
the same place as everyone else…education
if you don’t have one, get a dictionary
Self-righteous.
I can forgive the omission of the "t" as a simple typo, but the hyphen is all-important.
if you don’t have one, get a dictionary
Oh and then some unimportant shriner comes along so that they can feel included as well.
Do me a favor and shut up being scarcastic about something that is obvious is stupid and shows that you have a lack of sense. It was obvious i was commenting on "self-righteous snot" as a whole.
STFU and bother someone else with your pointless existence.
Self-righteous.
I can forgive the omission of the "t" as a simple typo, but the hyphen is all-important.
Lol sorry Prak, i won’t forget in the future 😀
Do me a favor and shut up being scarcastic about something that is obvious is stupid and shows that you have a lack of sense. It was obvious i was commenting on "self-righteous snot" as a whole.
STFU and bother someone else with your pointless existence.
oooh…i’m shaking in my boots now…i got told to shut the fuck up by a pretentious fool
and who are you to judge someone and say that they’re not important?
go fuck yourself bitch
and who are you to judge someone and say that they’re not important?
go fuck yourself bitch
OH NOS INTARWEB VIOLENCE…
how was that violent?
i don’t sit back and let people like Angel feel like they’re high-and-mighty
Also:
It was so emo, it made me want to slit your wrists.
HAHAH! this deserves an A+
and who are you to judge someone and say that they’re not important?
go fuck yourself bitch
Oh look and now you’re angry because I told you to shut up.
Pretentious… that must be one of those big word you found while looking up "self-righteous snot" in your dictionary.
And first of all, on this forum how many people know you?
Exactly… you’re not important here, however people like Sarah, Ktulu, T.K Sunglasses and (oh God) even Prak are important, and do you know why… because when people see these guys names they know who they are. Some people hat Prak and yet they know who he is…
Who
The
Fuck
Are
You?
The first time I ever heard of you was now in this thread when you decided to be scarcastic about something that was quite obvious. You my dear are the Fool, an Unimportant Pretentious Fool. So next time when your feeling as if you have to include your self in a discussion of literary works, make sure you have something worth while to say and not that "…dictionary…" bullshit that you thought was cool to post.
And BTW, everyone who knows me, knows that i am an argumentive Bitch, that’s nothing knew so find some other word to try and insult me with.
*hint, hint* use you’re dictionary
how was that violent?
i don’t sit back and let people like Angel feel like they’re high-and-mighty
High and Mighty! I’m quite sure i’ve never felt that way about myself when dealing with unimportant fools like you. But LOL "people like Angel" Bitch your funny, if thats the case you must get pissed evreytime someone tells you to Shut The Fuck Up.
Now before you grab your dictionary, find clever insulting words and begin to type up a wity reply to this post that you think will shut me up, let me tell you. You are not cool because you are in an argument with someone, you are not important now just because the few shriners that visit this thread know who you are. Your words will never amount to anything of worth to anyone here because all the dumb shit you say is all bullshit and you’re replies do nothing to me but make me laugh.
So really don’t waste your time replying but if you do… make it something interesting.
Pretentious… that must be one of those big word you found while looking up "self-righteous snot" in your dictionary.
And first of all, on this forum how many people know you?
Exactly… you’re not important here, however people like Sarah, Ktulu, T.K Sunglasses and (oh God) even Prak are important, and do you know why… because when people see these guys names they know who they are. Some people hat Prak and yet they know who he is…
Who
The
Fuck
Are
You?
The first time I ever heard of you was now in this thread when you decided to be scarcastic about something that was quite obvious. You my dear are the Fool, an Unimportant Pretentious Fool. So next time when your feeling as if you have to include your self in a discussion of literary works, make sure you have something worth while to say and not that "…dictionary…" bullshit that you thought was cool to post.
And BTW, everyone who knows me, knows that i am an argumentive Bitch, that’s nothing knew so find some other word to try and insult me with.
*hint, hint* use you’re dictionary
High and Mighty! I’m quite sure i’ve never felt that way about myself when dealing with unimportant fools like you. But LOL "people like Angel" Bitch your funny, if thats the case you must get pissed evreytime someone tells you to Shut The Fuck Up.
Now before you grab your dictionary, find clever insulting words and begin to type up a wity reply to this post that you think will shut me up, let me tell you. You are not cool because you are in an argument with someone, you are not important now just because the few shriners that visit this thread know who you are. Your words will never amount to anything of worth to anyone here because all the dumb shit you say is all bullshit and you’re replies do nothing to me but make me laugh.
So really don’t waste your time replying but if you do… make it something interesting.
Ahh… the memories of when I was 14… two school girls having a slappy fest… *sigh*
But i love it!
Pretentious… that must be one of those big word you found while looking up "self-righteous snot" in your dictionary.
And first of all, on this forum how many people know you?
Exactly… you’re not important here, however people like Sarah, Ktulu, T.K Sunglasses and (oh God) even Prak are important, and do you know why… because when people see these guys names they know who they are. Some people hat Prak and yet they know who he is…
Who
The
Fuck
Are
You?
The first time I ever heard of you was now in this thread when you decided to be scarcastic about something that was quite obvious. You my dear are the Fool, an Unimportant Pretentious Fool. So next time when your feeling as if you have to include your self in a discussion of literary works, make sure you have something worth while to say and not that "…dictionary…" bullshit that you thought was cool to post.
And BTW, everyone who knows me, knows that i am an argumentive Bitch, that’s nothing knew so find some other word to try and insult me with.
*hint, hint* use you’re dictionary
High and Mighty! I’m quite sure i’ve never felt that way about myself when dealing with unimportant fools like you. But LOL "people like Angel" Bitch your funny, if thats the case you must get pissed evreytime someone tells you to Shut The Fuck Up.
Now before you grab your dictionary, find clever insulting words and begin to type up a wity reply to this post that you think will shut me up, let me tell you. You are not cool because you are in an argument with someone, you are not important now just because the few shriners that visit this thread know who you are. Your words will never amount to anything of worth to anyone here because all the dumb shit you say is all bullshit and you’re replies do nothing to me but make me laugh.
So really don’t waste your time replying but if you do… make it something interesting.
same question: Who the fuck are you?
i never said i was "cool", nor did i say that i was important…you assumed that i said that
a couple more things about your post:
1) a thesaurus is a better source for synonyms
2) use the right "you’re" and "your" *hint* use a dictionary
i find it funny how you say all this, and yet you are just as unimportant as i am
Ahh… the memories of when I was 14… two school girls having a slappy fest… *sigh*
i don’t slap…i punch
only if they strike first
even then…i’d try to dislocate her shoulder or hip before knocking her lights out
*edit*i don’t discern people based on gender…and if more women want to have equal rights, i’ll treat them all in similar fashions
Also, I happen to like z.z
Fix’d. Of course, the fix explains the attitude. :smrt:
even then…i’d try to dislocate her shoulder or hip before knocking her lights out
*edit*i don’t discern people based on gender…and if more women want to have equal rights, i’ll treat them all in similar fashions
hmm.. Good point, carry on, LOL
i never said i was "cool", nor did i say that i was important…you assumed that i said that
a couple more things about your post:
1) a thesaurus is a better source for synonyms
2) use the right "you’re" and "your" *hint* use a dictionary
i find it funny how you say all this, and yet you are just as unimportant as i am
i don’t slap…i punch
As you noticed, i never once said i was important here, i already knew this.
And you were the one that had the bitch fit when i told you that you were Not important , so i assumed that you thought you were.
You obviously thought that you were important enough to post back to me.
FYI you were the dumbass with the stupid comment to begin with so why are you angry that i told you about it.
Anyway the rest of you guys are funny and Twilight considering who you are, i really don’t count your opinion very high in my book. People like me here too but that still doesn’t mean i’m important, what was your point? But thats just me, many people hold your opinion high here*shrugs * but you don’t bother me enough for me to really care.
only if they strike first
even then…i’d try to dislocate her shoulder or hip before knocking her lights out
*edit*i don’t discern people based on gender…and if more women want to have equal rights, i’ll treat them all in similar fashions
LOL Yeah… this is some scary shit…
I’m so afraid of you…
oh jeezuz
this one is sad
BTB thankyou for the lesson on literary guides, Where would i be without you?
You know what’s funny? Any by funny, I mean "mind-numbingly stupid?" You and BS jump all over Prak after the would-be poet took his advice.
Thats where you’re wrong Chunky…
I respect Prak and his opinions, i just tell him that he’s rude because of a previous conversation we had a while ago.
It annoys him and thus humors me, i really didn’t care that much about the thread.
I remember him saying that i was egotistical and then turn around and tell me that he was a higher being that was not to be bothered by a lower being like me.
Ever since then i make It a point to remind him not to be so rude.
So my comment to him wasn’t meant as me "jumping all over him"
If you notice… from his earlier posts, his responces to stupidity are becoming nicer! He hasn’t used the word "cunt" *that i’ve seen* in ages. I’m Proud of him! Lol
Silly Monkey:-D
Honestly, anyone who can tell me with a straight face that this shit wankfest you call a poem ia anything remotely resembling quality is a fucking moron and needs to be cunt-punted with steel-toed boots.
Then you obviously don’t read many threads. You must really think pretty highly of yourself if you think you’re changing how anybody does things.
Silly Monkey
:rolleyes:
so, you discredit the opinions of others that are in contradiction to yours in an attempt to justify your own actions
[COLOR="LightBlue"]You obviously thought that you were important enough to post back to me.
the same goes for you
Then you obviously don’t read many threads. You must really think pretty highly of yourself if you think you’re changing how anybody does things.
x2