True Love….(FF7)

Narrorator: This is taking place at the Gold Saucer after Sephiroth’s defeat. Cloud has a room and is pretty much getting over the Aeris Death issue. And then…

Tifa: *Walks into room* Hi Cloud…

Cloud: *Stares at Tifa* Hi Tifa……is something the matter?

Tifa: Oh nothing, I wanted to know if well….you wanted to take a little stroll with me….

Cloud: A date.

Tifa: *Stares in shock* How did you know?!…..

Cloud: That’s what Aeris said when she came walking in here….boy brings back old memories….

Tifa: Oh well…*starts to walk away* it’s o…

Cloud: No wait.

*Tifa stops and both of them are looking into each others eyes*

Cloud: I’d love to….

Tifa: Really?!

*Cloud walks up to her and holds her hand*

Cloud: Yeah….Tifa you mean so much to me and as much as I want it to come true…..

*Cloud stares at ground*

Cloud: Aeris will never come back. Tifa before Aeris came along I did love you…

Tifa: Y y you did?!

Cloud: Yea, and you know what?

*holds Tifa in his arms*

Cloud: I think Aeris would want this, and I want it too.

Tifa: Oh Cloud….

*Both of them stares in each others eyes a bit, then for the first time they kiss. Afterwards….*

Tifa: Oh Cloud i’m so happy! *hugs Cloud hard*

Tifa: I….I never want this moment to end.

Cloud: ….. *smile on face*Me neither.

*Up in the heavens Aeris stares down on them with a smile.

Aeris: Goodbye Cloud and you take care of her….*sheds a tear* i’ll never forget you…..

*Aeris walks away and prays there love will grow strong.*

Cloud: Let’s go to the gongola before it closes.

Tifa: Ok!

*Both of them stares at each other for a moment then run over to the Gongola*

Part 1 is over stay tuned for Part 2 and please send me replys on how the story was.

This guy’s going for the high score.

???

That story sucked…I mean, There is no word available to explain how extremely bad your "Storys" are..

I suggest:

Stop posting

Alpott’s right. That was so awful that the cross on my wall melted when I loaded the page. Acrid smoke poured from my modem. I’m still chasing away the satanists who were attracted by the evil aura.

Oh come on guys, give the kid a break and be nice to this one. You know what’s going to happen now…

YOU MADE HIM LEAVE THE SHRINE!

NOTE: This was pretty terrible.

Cloud: Aeris will never come back. Tifa before Aeris came along I did love you…

Tifa: Y y you did?!

Cloud: Yea, and you know what?

*holds Tifa in his arms*

Cloud: I think Aeris would want this, and I want it too.

Tifa: Oh Cloud….

*Both of them stares in each others eyes a bit, then for the first time they kiss. Afterwards….*

Tifa: Oh Cloud i’m so happy! *hugs Cloud hard*

Tifa: I….I never want this moment to end.

Cloud: ….. *smile on face*Me neither.

Letting us know that Cloud had a smile on his face is what made this excerpt the triumph that it is.

I shall stop posting storys for now but cmon!!! Give someone slack here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!

If you’re looking for slack you’re in the wrong place. The excerpt is not completely bad, but there isn’t much to really drive the moment. The part you wrote should take place at the right time/place of the story. You want the reader to feel the emotions of the characters, you may freshly have the FF7 events in your mind, but remember that every reader won’t.

You want the readers to feel the pain, sadness, and happiness as it takes place. This isn’t something that will happend overnight. Don’t allow yourself to become frustrated and give up. Keep writing, but more importantly keep reading and studying. You have to learn the art before you yourself can do it correctly. So yeah, keep at it.

Ok thanks for the input. Me and my friend is working together and is making a FF story as we speak. Sorry for the sucky story i’m not really good with writing. (Probably because I got a C- in English.)

I never really cared for final fantasy fanfiction unless it’s making fun of it.. like.. dressing Sephiroth up as a girl and making him go streetwalking or soemthing like that. But I think that the Cloud and Tifa issue is just done too much.. there’s so much fanfiction of Tifa and Cloud out there that I just can’t read any more of it.