Sunlight flashing
Each blink of my eye is a second of life
Do you see
Its my hara-kiri
I bring the sword down by my side
The sheath is empty
The blade comes closer to my side
I blink again
The blade touches by side
I feel a sting
The blade slides through my skin
The pain is gone
Blood rushes down my side
I tear the blade from my side
And prepare for another stage
I move it to the other side
The blade crushes my veins
Blood rushes down my side
As the other gushes its final pint
I feel another sting
But a blink
And its gone
I cannot stand on my feet anymore
I smile at death
It smiles back at me
And then we grab hands
And fly to the heavens
As my bloody, lifeless body
Is left alone
With its smile of agony
Still left on its pale face
I have to admit, you never fail to make me laugh with your god-awful poetry. Seriously, it just gets worse every time you post a new one, but it gets funnier also.

http://i8.photobucket.com/albums/a40/MechaboyDos/Funny/stopost.gif
What the fuck? This isn’t poetry, not by a long shot. It’s emo bullshit made to look like poetry by a very inept self-aggrandizing fucktard.
True, and it would be easier to view for me ^^
I have to say, I liked this one but not as much as some of your others. The main thing I really enjoyed was the second stanza….it had a back and forth feel…. Your description is brilliant here, making me breathless as I wait for what is to happen. I like the line claiming him to be waiting for another stage… it really leads well into the last stanza, where there is actually death. Your view of death is very abstracted, instead of being a sinking, unpleasant feeling…the writer says he is flying ^^ I like this view, actually…however, in the last couple of lines we are all reminded that before this beautiful rapture, we have one final, painstaking moment of agony. Wow.
Because you can’t do anything worth it. Absolutely. And no, Thank YOU ^^
Lack of intelligent posts + regurgitated insults = proof ^^By the way….I’m tired of wasting time on people who have no hopes of gaining any more maturity.
I really fail to see what’s so "fresh" about BS’s view of death here. Death’s been personified for ages, so his personification here isn’t exactly fresh. Perhaps if he made the last bit about flying away with Death into some sort of "riding off into the sunset" type of deal or personifying Death as a lost love of sorts, it’d be interesting, but as is, it’s pretty stale and downright boring.
I’m tired of wasting time on people who have no hopes of gaining any more maturity.
This coming from somebody who deifies a fictional villain from a second-rate video game… :rolleyes:
Then gtfo if you don’t like it, for fucks sake.