Neo Xzhan
07-23-2002, 06:15 PM
My tears are lost in the rain
My true colors are shaded in darkness
My true colors are shaded in darkness
My feelings are locked away
I cannot drown my sorrow
I cannot kill my emotions
I am trapped in a maze
A maze which no one can enter
A maze which no one can leave
Setsuna Yuna
08-05-2002, 07:58 AM
I think your poem is very moving…it creates a feeling of sadness and of no escape. I’ve felt this way sometimes. It’s a bit short though. I think you could have given the reader a better sense of what you (or whoever you writing about) feels by adding a few more stanzas about how trapped you feel or something like that. Of course, that’s just my opinion. :rolleyes:
A good job, overall. 😀